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created 9 months ago
MariMadi14
MariMadi14 Chicago Heights

Lord please give me the Will to Live

My husband divorced me in 2004 and took my daughter away from me because I suffered from depression. After 11 years of us being together, he married his ex-girlfriend and started a new family with her. I have not seen my daughter in over a year. Today is her birthday November 27, 2001. She just turned 6. I have been so lost and all I can think about is suicide. I don't have a job anymore. I don't have any money and no more friends. I am completely alone and would be homeless too if it wasn't for my mother. My mother is losing her patience and I don't know how to turn my life around because I have no will to live. I use to be a lawyer but cannot find a job in the condition I have been in. I have barely gotten out of bed in the past 6 months and have gained 65 pounds. I feel disgusted with myself when I look in the mirror and I don't have any clothes I can fit anymore. I go to bed every night and wish I would not wake up. I love the Lord with all my heart but I feel like I am living in Hell right now. I need courage and strength to create a new life for myself. My husband and daughter were the center of my world and I feel completely lost without them. I can't understand why God took them away from me and I can't forgive myself for the mess I have made of my life. I pray for a miracle everyday. I pray that God will breathe new life into me and I can have peace and a purpose. I need a financial miracle and healing of my heart and mind. I can't go on like this much longer.

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MothersLove

I hope you are well and things are better for you. I pray that you are experiencing some peace in your life at this time and the Lord has placed a loving sign near and dear to your heart. I pray that your future holds a double blessing and that the Lord makes haste. I pray with all my heart and all my soul that the new year brings all of God's good graces adn favors upon you in this new year. May God fill your heart with His love and kindness and surrounds you with his blessed angels to guide and protect you. I pray this in Jesus name for you now and always from the bottom of my heart. Amen and Amen and Amen. Godspeed!

MothersLove

I'm keeping you in my constant prayers. Please let me know if you received my email...God bless you! Amen and Amen and Amen. Godspeed!

MothersLove

Hi praying you are well. I pray you are busy do things because you are feeling better. Blessings!

MothersLove

Just checkin in...hope you are well....I sent you an email....did you receive it? Blessings

MothersLove

Dear one, thank you so much for responding. There are so many people on this site who want to pray and support you. Please know we are all looking out for each other. It is so important to have people praying for you. I wouldn't have been able to get this far if I didn't have people praying for me.

Please don't lose fate dear one. There is hope and God will by your side each and every step of the way believe it! Years ago, when my life seemed filled with all the blessings anyone could ask for, I feel in a very a deep depression that lasted for more than ten years. During that time I gradually began to lose all hope of anything getting better. I cried all the time, skrewed up at work and lost a very nice job, gained alot of wieght and lost many family and friend relationships and came borderline to ending it all. At that time my life went from bad to worse and was close to divorce and losing all of my family too. Then one day , at the brink of the end of my rope, I began to pray and read the bible night and day. Looking back, I believe the Spirit lead me to seek help and my employer led me to get medical help. I was suffered a major depression. With years of therapy, medication and alot of soul searching...six years later, although I'm going through a time that is more difficult than anything else I have been through in my life before this time, I am dealing with this time the best I can. I have to tell you, if I didn't overcome that depression time in my life, I wouldn't be surviving losing my only daughter right now. God is helping me live each day one day at a time. I wish I could just talk to you in person, to tell you more and to express myself better to you. What I know has helped me is prayer. I have to say that all the people at work who I was afraid of and gave me the most anxiety, have turned around and are treated my kindly once again. I know prayer is working. Although my daughter has cut me off, my husband has given me another chance too. He has seen how hard I've been trying to overcome the depression and although there had been so much tension between us at one time, he now has given me another chance because he see's how hard I'm trying.

You have your mother in your life. I can't tell you how I wish I did. A mothers love cannot be replaced. Your mother loves you so much, and she doesn't want to see you suffer just like Our dear Father. From what I read, it sounds like she's getting tired. Yes, we are human and we get tired, but you have to admit she's been there with you all tihe time and Our Father has been too and will Always be there for you no matter what. He will not forsake us, so we can't forsake Him either. My prayer for you at this time is to cherish what you have and then everything else will come. Sometime we have to wait a real long time...this is what I'm working on....it is so hard to have faith when you are waiting so long. Maybe you can only do the easy things right now. Pray to God to help you just with that at this time. Over the years people told me to take baby steps, so I have and continue. And if you take baby steps, you do get somewhere but taking big steps gets you further and faster. We can only do what we can at any given time. Obviously I have a history, too much to say here and so much left out.

I pray that I said only things that will help you. I pray for you with all my heart and soul. Let the Holy Spirit fill your soul and allow His mercy and love to happen. Just the fact that you returned to this siet and started praying for others is the begining. I do love you Sister in Christ. I don't want to hurt you, I just want to see God's blessings be with you. Please stay in touch with me. I promise if you touch base with me, I will always touch base with you. If you give me your email address, I will write you. May only God's good will be with you always and forever. I pray in Jesus name. Amen and Amen and Amen. Godspeed.

P.S. One thing that has helped me tremedeously during this difficult time is going to a church that reaches out to the community. Once I started going to classes at church and started to meet people at church, I did feel supported and accepted. It did take some of the anxiety away. Blessings dear one.

MariMadi14 - 9 months ago: Tanks again for your prophetic kind words. I actually had a good day today for the first time in months. I stayed up all night surfing the web and I decided I am going to file papers in court to see my daughter this week. I feel unworthy as a mother because I am so messed up right now and I know my ex-husband & his lawyer are going to put up a big fight against my visitation but I feel strong enough to face them now. I have a God-given and constitutional right to be in my daughter's life even if my life is not so great right now and I can't do much for her materially. I have been avoiding this painful court process for over a year now and today I feel the courage to go forward and get a court date to see the judge in my case about visitation. I am hoping to get a visit before Christmas with Jesus help. I also went shopping for clothes with my mom. I literally had nothing I could fit and she bought me several new outfits. This really encouraged me to try to live up to her expectations of me and piece my life back together. We had lunch at Applebee's and then took my youngest daughter (20 months old from another relationship) to get her ears pierced. All and all I say this was an amazing day and I have had no sad feelings at all. I felt a sense of peace and hope that I have not grqasped for a while now. I hope that this feeling of courage stays with me and that I don't fall back into the rut I have been in. I am hoping to take those babysteps and try to move forward as far as I can. I am so glad you have been kind enough to be concerned. I wish you peace and blessings in the name of our Lord in Christ. Amen. P.S. you can reach me at tnthonore@yahoo.com anytime. Thanks again.
MothersLove

Please tell me you are ok.

MariMadi14 - 9 months ago: Thank you for your prayers. I can't really say that i am ok. I am so depressed and terrified each day about the future. I have been isolated and cut off from the world around me for so long that I don't really know what steps I can take to improve my situation. I feel so lonely and afraid all the time. The thought of just going to the grocery store causes me anxiety. I am afraid because i don't feel I can go on living like this any longer. I really don't want to live at all anymore. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like God has already sent me to hell. I have been in so much emotional pain that I cannot relate to anyone anymore. I have old friends but I don't talk to them or do anything with them because I feel so miserable and I don't want to bring other people down. They knew me when I had a life and was not like this so it causes them pain to see or hear how I am because they can't help me. I don't really know if prayer can help me at this point but I continue to pray that something will change. I just can't imagine anything but misery for my life. Maybe God has given up on me. It seems that way. I can't see what I have done in my life to deserve this fate. I really feel like a lost soul and that the only thing that can bring me peace is death.
MothersLove

Juest checking in, dear one. I'm thinking and prayering for you. I prayed for you in church today too. Please keep in touch with me, I could use your prayers too...we all need all the prayers we can get, right? Please be with you. Take good care please. In Jesus name I do pray. Amen and Amen and Amen. Godspeed!

MothersLove

My dear one, I so pray to the Father Almighty for His graces and blessings to pour down over you. I pray with all my heart and all my soul that the Lord may lift your burdens and that He may breath new life in your life. I pray with all my heart and soul that the Lord fills your with what you need to get up and take hold of your life. I know that no matter what you do the Lord will be right by your side strengthening, watching, encouraging, and guiding. I pray with all my heart and soul that the Lord brings you a new life full of peace and comfort. Please remember your dear Mother, although your husband and daughter are gone, Your mother will always be with you. You are so blessed to have her and that she loves you enough to be by you for all this time. Please try loving yourself and then showing love and appreciation to your mother. You are very blessed to have her. You also have your law degree...NO ONE can take that from you. And although, you can't use it right now to do what you planned, you know it will open doors for you if you give it a try. I pray the Holy Spirit keeps working in your life like wildfire. I pray only God's good will be upon you. I pray this all with my heart and soul for you in Jesus Great name. Amen and Amen and Amen. Godspeed!

MargaRomans828
MargaRomans828 Boston, MA

Dear Lord, Our Father in Heaven.. Please Love this sister back to health. After You ended my 23 year marriage to someone who never valued me as your child, my heart goes out to her. I was so depressed I gained 30 pounds but YOU are the lifter of head and in YOU alone do I trust.. You are the MASTER recycler NOTHING goes to waste in your plan load (I am reminded of the story of young man with loaves and fishes who feed thousands and you still collected the leftovers-for what reason? YOU put them to use for your glory. Use our pain to bring HOPE to those around us who are hurting Father.. Bring comfort to this sister and be the lifter of head for YOUR glory and Honor.. Our lives are NOT about us Father but about how we will bring you glory. Help us to continue to reach out to those who are hurting IN THE MIDST OF OUR PAIN because your STRENGTH is perfected in our weakness... May the Peace of Christ that passes all understanding be with you as you venture outside your sorrow and you will see HIS hand move in your life and begin the healing process.

rcw329
rcw329 Grandville, MI

Lord we know you love this dear soul. Lord you can correct all of this. Help her fiancially,mentally,physically in every way. Restore her joy and let her see her daughter. Comfort her .Give her energy and hope and faith. God be with you.

rayraysgram
rayraysgram snow camp n.c

TRUST YOUR FATHER AND GIVE IT ALL TO HIM HE WILL RESTORE YOUR LIFE AND GIVE YOU JOY PLEASE JUST TRUST HIM GOD LOVES YOU SO MUVH THAT HE DIED FOR ALL OUR SHORT COMINGS AND HE JUST WANTS YOU TO TRUST HIM THROUGH CHRIST ALL THINGS POSIBLE!!!!!!!!!! HE MOVES MOUNTIANS SO WE KNOW HE CAN FIX YOUR LIFE !!!! AMEN AMEN!!!!! HOLD ON TIGHT !!!

MariMadi14 - 9 months ago: Thank You. I am holding on by a thread but I'm still holding on.
SilenceOfHeart

I am so very sorry to hear of your struggles. Please keep praying and do not lose hope! In the silence of your heart ask God what he wants you to do this day, this moment, to heal your life. I pray you get the answers and peace you have been seeking.

Dear Lord,
Please Bless this woman with peace, hope, love, and life purpose. Shower her with blessings and help her to be strong. Guide her Lord in how you would have her move forward in her life. I ask St. Margaret of Cortona and St. Dymphna to pray unceasingly for you. Amen.

May your Guardian Angel, the one hand-picked by God and unique only for you, be at your side today and always.

Angel of God my Guardian Dear,
To Whom God's Love commits me here.
Ever this day be at my side,
To light to guard to rule to guide.
Amen.

Precious Lord, take my hand.
Lead me on. Let me stand.
I am tired. I am weak. I am worn.
Through the storm,
through the night,
Lead me on to the light.
Take my hand, precious Lord,
and lead me home.
~~African-American Spiritual~~

Wambui
Wambui Nairobi

Mari you are the soulution to your problem, Your healing is within you. Sweety your life is so valuable that no one on earth can afford it, remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Re-collect yourself and pick up your life. There are times we have to start helping ourselves before God can perform a miracle. Dear accept that your husband and child are gone and thank God that they are alive and well. Confess and forgive yourself where you may have gone wrong and also forgive your husband for leaving you when you needed him most. Sometimes it takes forgiving ourselves and forgiving others for us to get our healing.

Father I commit my dear sister before your able hand acknowleding that you are able to heal our broken hearts. Father guide her in the right path of where she can get help to come out of the pit she is in right now. Send an angel along her way to help her through this time of difficulty. Lord you are able to heal our physical and spiritual being. Do it for her and above all re-unite her with her daughter. In Jesus name I pray with thanks giving. Amen