My husband emailed me and told me he is not going to change his mind. He doesn't want to be married any more. I am afraid that because we were not married in a church that God may frown upon our marriage. I love my husband and want to be a submissive wife. He got an apartment the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and over Thanksgiving weekend he changed his mind about leaving me. But now, he is gone. I ask that he not go to the extreme of getting an apt and signing a lease, but to get a place that goes by the week. I want my marriage back more than anything. I have failed him & I want to make things right. I pray that we can spend Christmas together, but he has so much hate in his heart for me, he just cannot see past the things that will take a little time to change. We both agree that we are soulmates & that God brought us together. I am willing to do anything for my marriage. My husband has threatened to ruin my life if I don't sign papers. Please pray that God will speak to his heart & see that he doesn't have to go to such extremes. When he was planning on leaving on Thanksgiving he got a different cell phone, for which I don't know the number, had all of his mail forwarded to a post office box & has for some time had my name off of the checking account. I am truly at the end. Please please I beg, pray for us and our marriage. Thank you.

Update - 12/24/07:
I have not heard from my husband since Tuesday. I do not know where he is living and have no phone number for him. His mother was such a comfort to me when this almost happened at Thanksgiving, but my husband asked that I not call or, so I haven't. I do miss her words of encouragement. She must think that I let her down & I didn't. There are no words to express the despair and hurt in my heart. I thought I would hear from him today with it being Christmas Eve. I miss him so much. I feel as if this will be better to take if I just take something to help me sleep and sleep for the next few days.
Thank all of you that are praying for us. It means so much. Please continue to do so. I love my husband and want my marriage back.
God Bless All of You, Karen

Thanks to all of you that are praying for my marriage. This is so difficult & you have no idea how much it means to have you out there. I still haven't heard anything. Christmas passed & nothing and now tonight is New Year's Eve. I was hoping we could start 2008 together. I have a lot of work I need to do here to prepare for his return, so I am starting on that. I've asked for a sign that everything will be okay & I will have my husband & my marriage back, but I haven't received one. I haven't given in and emailed or called him. The only way I could if I wanted to his when he is at work. He cut me off of everything else. It is difficult to not contact him, email to let him know I love him.... but nothing. I don't want to get in the way of God's work. I pray & cry alot. I know God knows my pain. Last night I felt so alone and in my email was a message from the owner of the marriagerestoration group. God does work in mysterious ways. My husband is so stubborn, I'm afraid he will not listen to God. Thank all of you for being here. God Bless each and every one of you.

It is 1:30 AM on 1/8 as I write this. I am unable to sleep & am fighting a terrible cold. I miss my husband so much & feel so alone tonight. I suppose being sick makes it worse because my husband always took good care of me when I was sick. I broke down and called him Thursday afternoon to ask him if he would come by and take down the outside Christmas lights. He asked why was I calling now when I hadn't for 3 weeks. I told him I was giving him space, he thought I was calling because bills are due! He agreed to come by Saturday afternoon after he went on a bike ride for the Patriot Guard. I also called him because I was standing at the kitchen sink and something told me to call him & ask him to not file papers after he got his tax refund. That was when he told me he wasn't promising anything. That afternoon and into the evening I sent him emails to his job. I sent a long letter I had written and then I sent him emails from Marriage Restoration. He informed me the following morning that he came into the office & had 15 emails from me. He printed them off & said he would read them when he got the time. I had decided I had nothing else to say, so I wasn't sending any more. He sent an email that was all negative. He came around 2:00 PM on Saturday and took the lights down. He told me he wasn't coming back. While he was outside, I broke down inside and cried and cried. Later he told me he heard me. After he finished with the lights I asked him if we could talk. He was apprehensive, but did agree to sit down with me and talk. He repeatedly told me he cannot help me at all with any of the bills. He says he feels bad that he left me with no job, because he wanted me to quit my job after we got married, for me to do eBay. So, now eBay is my only means to make the money to pay my bills. I have all of the bills to pay. I told him I should have taken the 'deal' he offered at Thanksgiving. When he put the deposit on an apt right before Thanksgiving, he told me he would spend weekends & holidays with me. He asked me what did I want. I told him I wanted us to work on our marriage. He claims he had to leave to restore his peace of mind and sanity! He said he was unhappy and couldn't live with me. I asked him to remember the reasons we got married. All he is thinking about are all of the negative things. I told him if he would come on the weekends and help me with the eBay (it was supposed to be a joint venture) and as I got things together in the house during the week, he could take them to storage. We could have quiet time and watch movies, talk & laugh like we used to ... we could go back to how it used to be, 1 step at a time. I told him he had the apt for the week and even if he got angry on the weekend. He agreed to try it, starting with the weekend coming up. I asked him about his phone, before he told me I could have the number. He told me he wasn't going to give me the number because he wasn't going to take the chance of me calling obsessively. I asked him to take the cell phone he left here in case he wanted to call me when he was not at work. He agreed & said he would have it off unless he wanted to call me. I said fine, I wouldn't call him. He told me it was fine for me to call him once a week at work or to send a few emails, I told him I wasn't going to do that, I would wait for him. I had gotten him some Christmas gifts and had them all together, he refused to take them. He said what kind of woman buys her husband gifts after he has walked out on her right before Christmas? I told him I wasn't mad at him. He says he didn't get me anything & wouldn't take them because of that. His birthday is 1/27, so he finally agreed to take them for his birthday. I told him most of what they were .. a model to put together, a puzzle, a book he wanted that he had been unable to get because it was sold out, some candy, pictures of the 2 of us that he had asked for before. I wanted him to have things to help occupy him, so maybe he wouldn't just sit there in his apt and think negative things. He called me the next day and thanked me for everything and told me he liked everything & made me promise not to get him anything else for his birthday. I agreed. He called me during his lunch break to say hi & tell me he was thinking of me. He told me he loved me before he hung up. So .... prayers are being answered. It's one baby step at a time. Finances are going to be rough & I am still praying that everything will be okay. He kept telling me that even if he wanted to come back he had the lease until next January & that could not change. But, I am so thankful for what the Lord has given me, the glimmer of hope. Oh, by the way, he did tell me that I didn't need to send him any more Christian info, he said he knew the Bible frontwards and backwards and he knows he is sinning and going against what God wants, but he is willing to go to Hell instead of live with me. He also claims he feels guilty, etc. But, as I said, I am not making any more contact. It's all on him. There is one thing that bothers me and that is that while he was here, his wedding band broke!! It just broke. Its a one of a kind, like a chain and it just broke. I was able to find one piece, but another piece is still missing. Do you think that is a sign of something? I told him I thought it was a sign that we had to renew our marriage, but I am not sure. I'm wondering if it is a sign that this marriage shouldn't be restored. Please, those of you that are praying for us, please send me some insight to this. I thank each and every one of you for your prayers. God bless all of you. I pray for all of you. I have no one to talk to, except to all of you via this site. My husband has apparently told his mother to not call me. During the Thanksgiving episode his mother was so supportive and was lighting candles from us, she gave me so much hope. I haven't heard from her at all this time. Oh, my husband did say he didn't want the grandson here all the time. This 6 year old idolizes my husband and he doesn't understand. He doesn't have his father in his life, his PaPa (my previous husband) passed away and he took to my husband like you wouldn't believe and my husband was really good with him. I don't understand how he can be so cruel to him. He even had a gift from the grandson, a set of Dominoes that Deven wrapped himself & said he wanted Grandpa to play with him. I could take all of the cruelty in the world as long as that little boy didn't have to have his heart broken. He doesn't know the truth, but he misses my husband. All of this is breaking my heart. Well, its 2:30 AM & I have to get Deven up at 7:00 for school. I didn't mean to ramble on. I'm sorry. Thank each and every one of you that are praying for us. I am praying for all of you. God bless all of you.

My husband came by last night to give Deven (GS) a ride on the bike. He then went to buy me a few groceries. Then he went back to his apt. We talked on the phone and it was awful. He told me how he had gone out to dinner with friends on Sunday & he had seen a movie some other time & I mentioned that I didn't understand how he could have money for those things & say how broke he was & I was here praying for toilet paper. He accused me of everything under the sun, got so angry, said I hadn't changed, etc. At 11:00 I received an email from him stating he wanted to be as far away from me as possible. He never wanted to hear anything from me again. By time he got off of the phone with me last night he was sick & his blood sugar was over 300. He wrote I am killing him and I talked a good game & he knew if he gave me enough rope I would hang myself and that is what I did. Nothing will get through to him now, nothing. He keeps throwing my past up to me & tells me what a loser I am & how stupid I am. I guess he's right. I just want to thank all of you that are praying for us. I appreciate all of your prayers.

Thank all of you for your prayers. My husband is a far away from me as he was, if not more. He doesn't want to talk to me or see me. It seems as if his heart is made of stone & ice runs through his veins. Everything I say & do is wrong. I am putting this in God's hands, as it has been. I have no more strength to fight this demon in my husband. I know God will look out for me and restore my marriage. I have relatives telling me they are praying that the right thing will be done, they do not think this marriage should be saved. I stand my ground on my marriage and I beleive God does want to restore it. I pray that the Lord will speak to Bob's heart & lead him home, one step at a time and I pray the Lord will guide me to do what I have to do to make things ready for my husband's return. My husband is consumed with bitterness. I rebuke Satan in the name of Jesus Christ. Satan will not break this marriage apart. God bless all that are praying. Amen

Thank you to all of those that are praying for me & my marriage. Two weeks ago my husband called out of the blue and wanted to be with me. We spent the weekend together 2 weeks ago. It was wonderful. But now he is back to not wanting to see me or hear from me at all. He is back to wanting his freedom and no contact. He says we made a mistake (our marriage) and his heart is cold as ice. I believe our marriage was not a mistake. I know it wasn't. I am still standing my ground that my marriage will be restored and my husband's heart will hear God. This is so difficult, but I know God never gives us more than we can bear. PLEASE continue to pray for us. I am going to respect his decision and request for no contact. He doesn't want me to contact his mother either & I will respect that too. I feel as if I am at the end of my rope. But, I know God is there for me. I just need to regain my composure & keep going. God bless all of you that are praying with me. Love in Christ.

Please help me!! My husband says he is on his way over here to tear my house apart to find his camera and take the laptop, which has my eBay business on it, which is my sole means of support. My 6 yr old grandson will be here when he does all of these things. He says he hates me and keeps calling me profanities. I have prayed & prayed. I have no choice but to let him do what he wants. He says he hates me and is filing for a divorce as soon as he can. I am going to start fasting, but I need extra prayers now, so that he doesn't come over. He is so angry and had a heart made of stone. I worry more about my grandson, than myself. I can take the humiliation. Please pray for me, that he doesn't come over ... please ... I can't take this any more, I just can't.

Thank all of you that prayed for me. He came over & started taking things left & right. I have until Sunday to find his camera & to get my eBay business off of the laptop. He says he is going to file divorce papers when he gets the money. He says he hates me & called me all kinds of names. He gave me his wedding band. No matter what I said made a difference. He told me if I contact him or his mother in any way, he will get a restraining order against me. His heart is so cold. He has the look of Satan. He knows he's wearing me down. He said he wanted to get some Drano and make me drink it. He wants me dead. And,here I am, as a fool, wanting my marriage. He wasn't like this before. He's not seeing another woman. I have no choices. I am going to start fasting tomorrow or the next day, and add that to my prayers. Needless to say things look pretty glum. I believed so much that this marriage was meant to be. Again, thank all of you.