Today is my birthday and the only thing I really want is to spend it with Eron. I have had feelings like I just want to cry and I pray and they do go away but only for a hort time. I completely miss him. I just want us to betogether again. Please keep praying for me I need it especially today. I just pray that I will get to spend time with Eron today and that if God doesnt bless me in that way he will bless me with the strength to get through the day without Eron. Eron and I have always spent my birthday together and I can only hope this one wont be different.May god bless and be with all of you Merry Christmas.

Well I didnt get to see or even talk to Eron on my birthday or Christmas. In fact I havent heard from him since last Thursday. I sent him a text yesterday wishing him a Merry Christmas but no word from him. I can only hope that Jesus has a plan to reconcile our relationship but you never know what he has planned. It may not be in his will for Eron and I to be together again and I dont like it. I have told him I dont like it, but I will do it because he never closes one door without opening another right? I am turning to Jesus for the strength and healing I need and its helping a lot. I turned everything over to Jesus in hope he will heal my heart soon or most of all bring Eron back to me. Until Jesus shows me his plan I will keep praying for it. Well I shouldnt say until because I always will pray for it. Keep praying for me please as I will do the same for you.

I am feeling so desperate for Jesus to bless me with my miriacle. I need Eron so bad. Yes Jesus is my number one but Eron is my number 2. This is a blog I wrote about the reasons I care for him even though he has done me wrong many times.I often write in here about all the bad stuff between Eron and I and the bad things that happene between us and it occured to me that I need to go more in depth and tell you the reason I love him and Why I stay even though my closest friends who know it all already tell me to leave and tell me I dont need this well the truth is I do need him he is my best firned someone I look up to he has taught me everything my parents never did he has been there for me in ways no one in this world has been. All through highschool when my mom was off doing drugs and running off every weekend eron was there he was there to hear me cry he was there to calm me down when my heart was pounding so hard I felt like it was going to burst. Most of my close friends already know I treadted my family like crap I would yell and argue with them as often as I could mostly because my father was abusive and my mother was a drug addice my house was a drug house and my dad sold dope out of it so i resented my family I hated them in some sence for ruinging most of my life for the beatings my mom took and my brother and I took I was a mad child because of the things I saw and the disrespect from them towards me I didnt think I had to respect them. then i met this wonderful guy and he hated the way I treated my parents and we constintly faught over the way I treadted them because he came from a normal family I mean they have there problems like everyone but they respected each other and never treated eachother like that they had high morals somthing coming from my family I had none of. There was this wonderful girl inside of a a body of a horriable person with no morals or values. I am now that wonderful nice girl because eron was the only one in the world that could stand up to me and say your doing this all wrong. No one ever told me I was doing things backwords that I wasnt respecting myself or my family. it took me a very long time to trust eron and to listen to his wisdom because I had never had someone in my life who wanted to be there for me in the way he did. he is a blessing sent from god thats all there is too it.this is where all our problems began it didnt start with him it was because he finally after 5 years of trying to teach me and gain my trust to let him in he decided it wasnt possiable and that I would never change and we broke up a geck of a lot of times and he gave me a heck of a lot of chances to become a better person not forim but he wanted me to do because he knew I would feel better that I needed to do it for myself and I feel like a total different person. Not to mention did he teach me how to live a real life but he taught me how to be healthy and I have now lost 35lbs because he taught me how to be healthy. I thank god for him sending eron to me. There will be nonone like eron in my life I am so greatful to erons Grandpa in particular for teaching eron the ways of life so eron had the courage and will to teach me and never give up. for 5 years he never gave up on me. then a few months ago we broke up and quit talking because he didnt think I was going to change well I knew that if I prayed hard enough god would bring my angel back to me and he did and during the time of eron and I being seperated I found god again I took erons wisdom and put it in my life I have changed for the good and I will forever be greatful for the wonderufl guy I met in such an ironic way. for the most part he makes me smile. I can be having the worst day ever and when he calls me and says those magic words HI B I cant help but smile and I am happy for 3 days after that. When I get home from work I look to see if his name is on the caller id just hoping mostly that I didnt miss another one of his phone calls. I look forward to seeing him and talking to him everyday. I can only hope that this one little argument doesnt take him away again. he my angel and almost six years later after all the arguments and fights because of me I can only thank the lord and him for being in my life everyday and teaching me the things no one else had the will to. This is why I ask for your prayers in hime coming back. He means everything to me.

I am feeling God around me today. I just feel like I can feel his arms wraped around me. I finally heard from Eron today and he is doing well. Eron is leaving for Florida soon it could be as soon as a few days or as long as a couple weeks. I dont know if I will see him before he leaves but I pray for it and I believe with Gods power it will happen. I am feeling ok today. I am happy in one way and yet sad in another if that makes sence. Please just continue to pray for me.

My good feeling day quickly turned. Eron is leaving in the afternoon tomorrow. I didnt get to see him and I dont know if I will before he leaves. He wasnt even going to tell me he is leaving tomorrow. He was just going to leave and not tell me. I dont think he wants to see me even though he told me and promised me that he would see me before he left. Please pray for his heart to change and for him to see me tomorrow before he leaves. I drove by his truck after driving an hour in a half thinking I was going to leave him a note but I couldnt do it. I just wanted to tell him how much I care and how I will never give up and I hope he has a safe trip. I couldnt do it no matter how hard I tried. I was too afraid. I dont know what to do. I am so scared and lonely I just want Eron more than anything is this world besides Jesus of course. I miss him so much and I dont know how to react to not seeing him one last time. It literally takes my breath away and I feel like I cant breathe all I can do is cry and pray that he will have a change of heart. Please pray for me. I need the supposrt so much right now and coming here really does help me get through.

I talked to Eron on the phone the night he left. I miss him completely. That night we had a really nice time talking. He told me that he thought it wwas very hard to leave his friends in Michigan already and thought if we saw eachother before he left it would make it that much harder to leave. He even called me his little pet name he has for me B which stands for Baby. This gave me hope that he still cares and that someday maybe he will feel the need for us to be whole again. I have given god every part of me and my life to do his work in my life. I feel like I wasnt walking with him as much as I felt I was. I am trying very hard not to do things that will dishonor him. Lord you cam through for me once this week with Eron and I talking. Lord I just ask that you continue to work on Eron and I so we can be one again someday. Lord please see that I love and miss him deeply. Please Lord I am walking with you and you said the ones that walk with you shall recieve the desires of their hearts. You know the one true desire of my heart is for the restoration of my relationship with Eron. I am begging you Lord to restor our hearts and bring us together. Allow us to make a relationship based on you Lord. Believe in our realtionship Lord. Believe in our relationship like I believe in you Lord. Please Lord also be with my brothers and sisters here on rrayabout and off. Please look into their hearts and do your will with what you see. Lord so many of us need you in so mant different ways. You are holy. You are our savior. With you all things are possiable. Please Lord touch us with your miracles.

I talked to Eron a couple days ago online. Eron is in Tennessee visiting family before he officaially moves to Florida. Well he wants to find a job in Tennessee because without one he cant pay his bills and he is going to be there for a mnoth or 2. I miss him so much. For the last few days I have had a lot to do and with Jesus's help have kept my mind off him being gone. Well now I am back to hurting like crazy over it. I just hope and pray that God allows Eron and I to be together soon. I havent talked to Eron on the phone since the night he moved and that is also hurting me really bad. I wish this didnt hurt so bad. Lord please help Eron to see how much I love and care about him. Lord im walking with you and I believe in your miricales. Please lord can I have one of those miriacles. Please Lord believe that Eron and I are changed people and our relationship will work. Lord I need you as I am crying because I miss him so much. Please Lord open the lines of communication between Eron and I. Im begging you Lord please hear me. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

I HAVE AN UPDATE AND I CAN NOT THANK GOD AND HIS SON ENOUGH! ERON AND I TALKED FOR A COUPLE HOURS TONIGHT AND ERON SAID THAT IF WE CAN WORK EVERYTHING OUT AND WE BOTH CAN DO SOME CHANGING THAT HE WANTS ME TO MOVE DOWN TO FLORIDA AND BE WIRH HIM. GOD CAME THROUGH AS HE ALWAYS DOES AND OPENED OUR LINES OF COMMUNICATION. NOW I JUST NEED CONTINUED PRAYERS FOR US TO BE ABLE TO CHANGE AND CONTINUE COMMUNICATING. FOR EVERYONE IN THE SAME BOAT AS I WAS PLEASE DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE KEEP FAITH IN GOD BECAUSE HE DOES HEAR YOU AND WILL COME THROUGH. JUST A FEW HOURS AGO I HAD ALL THE HOPE IN THE WORLD ERON WOULD COME BACK BUT I ALSO IN THE BACK OF MY MIND WAS HAVING DOUGHTS AND HE IS BACK NEVER LOSE FAITH. THANK YOU ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE BEEN PRAYING. YOUR PRAYERS IS WHAT BROUGHT ERON BACK AND I CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING AS I WILL FOR YOU!

Things arent the greatest with Eron and I again. We are still talking so there is still a hope, but we got in a little bit of an arguement last night. He wants to not necesaraly date other people while we work on things between us before I adventually go down there, but he wants to be able to mess around with other girls. He has dont that and cheated on me in our past and he knows how much it hurts me, but insists on doing it because we are not completely sure when I am going to move down there or even if things will work out. I got upset last night and was crying about this and it really upset him. the night ended ok and was changed around but he made a comment about how that was the reason we could never be together. Meaning the fact that I get so upset when I think of him with other girls. A part of me cant help but get upset when all I want is to be that girl he wants to be with. Not to mention every time he begins to hang out or mess around with another girl he ends up saying he doesnt want to talk again and then treats me like I dont exist. I am so scared that because I got upset last night he is going to walk out on me again. I said I was sorry today and I rpomised I would try my hardest not to think this way anymore. I can only hope by the grace of God he will forgive me. We are talking, but I think he is still a little upset, because I was talking to him about having a little bit of extra money and maybe taking a little road trip to visit him soon and he said no you need to finish school. Well I think maybe he thought I meant moving down there right now so I am going to get that cleared up and by the grace of god I can use this extra cash and take a visit down there. Please pray that he forgives me and that I am able to take the trip down. Also please pray I have the strength to not cry and get upset over things like I did last night. Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers.

Well Eron and I have been talking everyday now. We still talk all the time about us getting back together and me moving down there. I think he may be a little upset with me and I cant really tell you why becaue I dont know why. Last night we were talking on msn and he just kind of didnt talk much and when he did he was a little rude or seemed aggervated about talking to me or what I had to say. Then he said he was going to call later and never did. I am just not sure whats goong on.
Lord please be with me today as I am feeling unsure of wheather or not this anger and aggitation is aimed for me. Please Lord allow this to be nothing that will hurt or relationship. Lord please allow him to open up to me today and tell me whats going on. Please allwo us to talk this little miss hap out and go on with our relationship. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

Eron and I are both doing well. I really hope and pray that I atleast get to go down there for a visit really soon. I also hope I move down there right after this sememster ends. I miss him so much. Please just pray that are relationship continues to be strong and we see eachother very soon. I can only hope and pray...... Thank you for all your prayers in advance.

Today and yesterday have been really hard to get through. I miss Eron so much. We talk everyday online and almost everday on the phone,but its just not the same as being able to see him. Please just pray that this pain goes away quickly and Eron and I get to see eachother and be with eachother very soon. The tears have been flowing the last couple days. Thank you all in advance for your prayers.

Well Eron and I have been put on a stand still I feel. We went from talking everyday to not talking at all on the phone. I feel like maybe I just got myself back in the same old routine of Eron and I talking again things going great and then him for no reason at all just not talking to me anymore. I feel like nothing will ever change between us I will always love him and be there for him and he wont for me. Please just pray that our lines of communication are opened again.

I am stuck.ron and I have not talked on the phone since Monday the 28th of January. So it's been a little over a week now. We talk occasionally online. We were talking everyday on the phone and thins were going great. We were talking about me moving down there once we have things worked out and everything. Now when we talk online we maybe type somthing to eachother once every 20 minutes. I can either confront Eron and see if he was being serious about me moving down there and us someday being together again and risk him telling me he never wants to talk again, or I can sit back cry and feel bad not do anything and just see where all of this takes me. I have been praying about my options to God to show me what he wants me to do next. I need help I don't know or understand what I am supposed to be doing now. Please just pray for my understanding and answers. Also please pray for Eron and my relationship reconcilliation. Thank you in advance for your prayers.

Eron is coming home in 2 weeks for a visit and we are planing on spending some time together. Please pray that everything stays as planned and he actually makes it up here and we get to spend all the time we can together. Please also pray that soon we will be able to spend everyday together. Thank you so much for all of your prayers. May God be with all of you.

Lord where are you? I need you and need your hep and I just feel like your not here with me today. Please come to me and help me get through today. Help Eron to see how much he hurts me when he quits talking to me like this. Lord bring us back together and restore our relationship. In Jesus name I pray Amen...
Eron feels that sometimes it just gets to hard to talk to eachother because of the distance and us missing eachother so much already so he just quits talking to me for days at a time. He doesnt understand how much it makes me happy just to get totalk to him. When we talk or after or even before we talk I smile and I am so happy, but when he doesnt al or doesnt talk to me I cry and I feel like ahuge cry baby bcause I prolly shouldnt be crying bu it hurts so bad. He made a statement a few days ago when he was talking to me that when he hears my voice it makes him want to talk to me all te time so thats why he doesnt call for few days at a time. I said if it makes you want to talk to me all the time then why dont you just pick up the phone his reply was sometimes its so hard to talk to youwhen I miss you because it hurts so bad that im not there with you. I just wish he could see how happy it makes me when he calls. Please just keep me in your prayers and pray in agreement with me. Thank you all!

I believe today is when Eron was supposed to come back to Michigan for a visit. If he still is I am not sure because he hasn't been talking to me and he started a new job so I don't know if his new job will permit him to come home this weekend. Please pray that if this is the weekend he was supposed to come home that he calls me and wishes to spend time together. I miss him so much and could use the time with him. Please also pray that if he couldnt come home or if this wasnt his scheduled weekend to come home that he is able to come back here very soon for a visit and I will be able to see him then. Please also pray that we begin to talk again and this time we never stop talking. Thank you all in advance.

Jesus what happens if your fathers will and though on my situation is not what I want. Will Eron and I ever be together again. I feel so broken Jesus and I don't think I can do this anymore. I am at my wicks end I just wish I could give up. How do I deal with this pain Jesus. How do I have faith in your fathers will in my life when I don't know what it is I don't know if he has the plan for Eron and I to be together again. All I want in this entire world is to be with Eron. Jesus do you hear me? I am starting to wonder if you do. I miss Eron so much and I am so scared we will never be together again. Jesus why does love hurt. I thought love was supposed to be a beautiful thing and I know love is supposed to have it's ups and downs, but I didnt know it was supposed to be one constint battle field. Jesus please ask your father to have mercy on me and bring Eron and I back together. Jesus I need you to get my message to your father and I know the only way to reach him is through you. Please Jesus I am begging you to ask your father to bring Eron back to me and to soften Erons heart towards me. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

Have you ever heard the song More Than a Memory by Barth Brooks? This fits me to a T. I am doing and have done everything this song says. Eron is coming home on the 27th of this month for his best friends wedding. Please pray that we get to spend some time together and that he sees somthing in me he never has before and we begin our relationship over again. Please I am begging you all to agrree with my in prayer. Again please.

here are the lyrics to that song. and I know its about a girl but if you canged it to be about a guy it would fit me to a T.

People say she's only in my head
Its gonna take time to laugh again
They say I need to get on with my life
But they don't realize

Is when your dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone.
Driving cross town just to see if she's home.
Waking a friend in the dead of night, just to hear 'em say it's gonna be alright.
When your finding things to do not to fall asleep cuz you know she'll be there in your dreams.
Thats when she's
more than a memory

Took a match to everything she ever wrote
Watched her words go up in smoke
Tore all the pictures off the wall
But that aint helping me at all.

Cuz when your talking out loud and nobody's there
You look like hell and you just don't care
Drinking more than you've ever drank
Sinking down lower than you've ever sank
When you find yourself falling down upon your knees, praying to God, begging him PLEASE
That's when she's
More than a Memory

She's more
She's more

Cuz when your dialing her number just to hang up the phone
Driving cross town just to see if she's home
waking a friend in the dead of night, just to hear 'em say it's gonna be alright
When our finding things to do not to fall asleep cuz you know she'll be waiting in your dreams
That's when she's
More than a Memory

People say she's only in my head
Its gonna take time to laugh again

Eron comes home Thursday for his friends wedding. We have plans to spend time together which is wonderful news. I miss him so much. I am very scared that we wont get back together and I wonder if this will be the last time I see Eron. Please just pray we get back together while he is home and that we discuss what we want from eachother.

Lord I dont know what I do wrong. I dont know why you punish me by taking him away. Dont you understand how much you hurt me when you do this. You brought Eron to me and told me we would see eachother this weekend now he says we wont because of the car situation. Lord please help me to change Erons mind. Help him to see he really wants to see me and us to hang out. Lord please I am begging yiou not to break me like this. Lord Help us to see eachother this weekend. I am only going to be 20 minutes away from him please allow us to see eachother. In Jesus name I pray Amen

Father, I guess it just wasnt the right time to see him. Please Father see that he is the one that makes me smile dont get me wrong you do too but he is the one here on earth who makes me happy. I just dont know how many more oppertunities I am going to get to see him or if I will ever get that oppertunity back. I guess the time just wasnt right in your eyes father. Please just keep me strong and walk with me while I once again feel discouraged. Father please believe thats Eron is a good thing in my life. Father please bless me and help Eron to see that he wants to see me soon and help it to happen Lord. Father I am scraed. I am scared that I wont ever see Eron again and I am scared that because we didnt see eachother this weekend that he wont call me anymore either. Father please dont take him out of my life. Please Lord see that he is the one who makes me smile for days on end when all we do is talk on the phone. Father I find happiness in him please see that. Lord please see the tears thjat always fall when we dont talk or we get into arguments. Please help me to better control my mouth so we dont argue over the silly things I say sometimes. Father please also allow Eron to see the things he does that hurt and bother me as sometimes I feel if I speak up he will once again tell me he doesnt want to talk to me anymore so somthing of that sort. Father please just walk with Eron and I and help us to become closer to you and eachother. Father I come to you in your son Jesus' name Amen.

Thank you all for your outpooring of prayers. I know they are working because the last 2 days I have just felt at peace with my self and this situation. I finally feel like God has taken all of these things in my life and is working through them with me, yet telling me to slow down and have patience and understanding. I feel like maybe I have finally got this trust in our Lord thing down pact. The fear of Eron and I not seeing eachother and him not calling me because we didnt see eachother has came true. I still haven't talked to him and it's Tuesday. Eron got home on Sunday from Michigan back to Tennessee. Please just continue to pray for me. Pray that I will continue to use God as my rock and continue to give him my burdens like he says I should do. Thank you in advance!

I have told you earlier in the day that since Eron has gotton back to Tennessee we have not talked. I just recieved and e-mail from him telling me he is not mad at me or anything, but that he has been moved to 3rd shift at work and is just trying to adjust. I don't really know what this means for me, but please pray that he finds some time to call me or talk to me throughout his day. I am trying to put all my faith in God that he will allow Eron to call me and to see that I care for him and am here when he needs me. I thank all of you for your prayers.

I just feel like I am at my wits end. I feel like I can't even pray for other people as I see there prayers being answered and mine still sitting in Gods hands. One minute I am happy and content with out him and the next I am miserable. I dont know what to do anymore.

I found out there is aonther girl in his life thats not me. They aren't in a relationship they are just useing eachother for one thing (sex). Once again I feel Horriable and I just don't know what to do. I have been praying for months now and it gets better and then much worse. I feel like why pray when God isnt even listening.

Eron called me Monday morning at like 2 am. He may be coming back to Michigan because the bussiness his grandpa is starting in Florida is not taking off as well as they though it would. They are just not making enough money to suppost the both of them. Please pray that when Eron comes back home we can work out our differences and that he doesnt go back to messing around with the girl that he was right before he left. Please pray he comes back to me and not her. We talked about getting back together and him coming home and us working things out please just pray he doesnt fall back on his word. Thank you all!

Just an update. Well finally I am emotionally ok. Now my finances have went to crap, it it's not one thing it's the other. I go to school and work and at work I make $200 a month. Well this month it will only be 100 because I asked for a weekend off not knowing that something financially was going to come up and now my weekend was given to the other girl who doesn't want to give my weekend back to me. So now not only do I have a $100 dollers due at the end of the month, which happens to be my only $100 dollors for the month, I have to buy a book and medical scrubs before the end of the month and find a way to pay for gas to get back and forth to work and school. I just dont know what to do. I am giving this all to God and trusting that some how and from somewhere the money I need will come to me. Please just keep me in your prayers. Thanks!

Eron and I got into a little argument yesterday and he was kind of upset with me but I think we can move on from it now. It
s been a week since he has called me again and yesterday was the first real conversation we have had online. I miss him so much and I hope he can find a job here so he can come back home. I feel so lonely and I could go date other guys but he is the only one I really long for or want to be with. Please just pray he comes home soon and that we can be together without any problems or people involving themselves in our relationship. Thanks ahead of time!!!

Father I am so lost. I don't know what to do anymore. I miss hime more than anything, I just want my best friend back. It's once again been awhile since he has called. He works 3rd shift right now and doesnt have a lot of time, but I also have tried to e-mail him and other things and get no response. Father I have done the dating other people thing and its just not him. Father it would be like if I started praying to someother God even though I know you are the only one for me. He is the only one for me. Father haven't I suffered enough. I have been chasing this boy around for years and still only get a glimpse. Everyother girl in his life gets all of him and doesnt have to worry about him going out with other girls or anything like that. How come I can't have that Father. How come you are punishing me. I try to stick to your word. I read your word and follow it everyday. I pray to you a million times a day. I put all my problems and faith in your hands and try to trust in you as hard as I possibly can and still you punish me. You take away the one thing I want in this world. I need you father and I want you, but I also want him. I dont want to argue with him over little things anymore. I dont want him to acuse me of saying somthing and meaning it in a bad way when I didnt even jhave a bad thought in my mind. I hate this father. I hate that I cant be with the person I cre about so much. I hate that I hate that he has no faith or trust in me to believe me or what I am atleast trying to say even though it doesnt always come out right. You know father I have thought about showing him how many people pray for him and I. I have thought about showing him this site and letting him see how much I do care and am trying everything possible for things to be good between us, but I think he would be mad at me. Father when he gets mad at me he quits calling and quits talking to me. Father I just wish he could see me for the person I am today instead of the person I used to be. Father please lighten Erons heart and allow him to forgive me and have mercy and believe in me. Father please help him to communicate with me instead of getting mad about things I say when the way he thinks I meant them isnt really the way I meant them.Father please just be my rock and help me through this. In Jesus name I pray Amen

I gave this whole situation to God last night again, and then about 15 minutes later took it back from him. Please please pray for me to just give it to him and to quit taking it back all the time. I trust God is working on it for me, but I am just so impatient and want my answers now. I believe my imaptience is what is making me take it away from him all the time. Please just pray for my impatience and that I can give it to God and be patient and not take it back! Thank you all!

Ok I refuse to take thses problems back from God. I just plain refuse, but right now at this very second I want to fix it all, and I know that I did my part in trying to make it work. I have given this to God so many times and turned right back around and taken it back. I refuse to do this again, but at the same time I want this all fixed like NOW. I know that I have to be patient but its so hard. Please just pray for my pratience and pray for me to have the strength not to take this problem back and fix it myself. Thank you all in advance!

What am I doing wrong? I have not taken this problem back from God and am not going to. I did say hi to Eron tonight online and he said hi back and then blocked me. I know he blocked me because I sent him a message telling him I miss him and how nice it was out today, and just told him I wish he was home so we could go walk in the park or somthing and he read it. I just dont know what I am doing wrong. I attempted to talk to him and I didnt even really say anything about us I just said I missed him and he still doesnt care to talk to me. I am of course crying right now and I just feel hopeless.

Eron and I talked last night AND IT WAS EVEN ON THE PHONE!!!!!! We had a really good conversation! I hope that if we continue to have thses good conversations maybe he will call more often and maybe when my financials are all set I can go visit him. Please continue to pray. Our prayers are working!!!!!! Pray for him to continue to lighten his heart towards me, and for the reconciliation of our relationship!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!

WOOO HOOOOO!!!! Eron and I talked on the phone again last night. We talked for 3 hours and we talked about everything from polotics to things in our past and what we want in our futures. Keep pray it's working. I am not sure if I will hear from him throughout the week because we works 3rd shift and sleeps all day, but that's ok. What's a week when everytime we talk lately has been wonderful and full of suprises!!!!! Thank you all for you continued prayers....

Please pray for my strength. Pray that I continue to put all my faith in our father. The devil has came in and made me start to feel down again and feel deprssed and unfaithful. Please just pray for God to fight him off for me.

I got bad news yesterday. Eron is talking to Melissa and has never stopped. Melissa is the girl he left me for and was messing around with for the last year. Eron told me that they only talk once in awhile online. Well..... that was a lie. Not only has he never stopped talking to her he has been telling us both the same thing about moving to Florida with him and being with him. I tried to talk to him last night about it but she beeped in and he immideatly got off the phone with me and talked to her. I have tried calling him a few times and he is at work so he didnt answer but I asked him to call me back on his break and he didnt. He gets out of work in 2 hours and I am going to call him then. Please just pray that we talk this all out and that we dont have another falling out and me get hurt again. Please pray we can work this out civaly and not argueing the whole time we talk. Thank you for your prayers.

Please keep the prayers coming. I have more bad news. Melissa and Eron have been dating for over a year and Eron has decided he doesnt want to talk to me on the phone anymore, and prolly soon wont talk to me at all. I dont understand why this always happens to me. We didnt talk to months and then he called me and we talked and now he is being taken away again. Eron is the person here on earth who comforts me the most. God comforts me the most but Eron is the one that does here on earth. Eron is my best friend. He says this hurts him too, but I dont see how this can hurt him when he continues to do it. You would think if this hurts him he would just come back because someone up above keeps brining us together again. I guess I dont understand and am just really hurt over all of this. I gave Eron the link to this site so he could see how many people pray for us. I hope he reads that I have been praying for months for him and I. Please just continue to pray for us and pray that we can overcome this obsticle like we have so many in the past. Thank you for your prayers!

Please keep the prayers coming. I have more bad news. Melissa and Eron have been dating for over a year and Eron has decided he doesnt want to talk to me on the phone anymore, and prolly soon wont talk to me at all. I dont understand why this always happens to me. We didnt talk to months and then he called me and we talked and now he is being taken away again. Eron is the person here on earth who comforts me the most. God comforts me the most but Eron is the one that does here on earth. Eron is my best friend. He says this hurts him too, but I dont see how this can hurt him when he continues to do it. You would think if this hurts him he would just come back because someone up above keeps brining us together again. I guess I dont understand and am just really hurt over all of this. I gave Eron the link to this site so he could see how many people pray for us. I hope he reads that I have been praying for months for him and I. Please just continue to pray for us and pray that we can overcome this obsticle like we have so many in the past. Thank you for your prayers!

Father I am down on my knees. Father I am praying that you release the answers to all of my questions. Father I ask that if it is your will For Eron and I to talk and maybe even be together that you dont hold back on relasing my blessing. Father I thank you for the last 6 months that Eron and I talked. I thank you for brining Eron into my life 7 years ago next month. Father I pray that you open Eron's eyes to how much he means to me and how much I love and care for him. Father please allow Eron and I to talk like we always have. Father I am giving you the fear of Eron and I never talking again or being together again to you. I am giving this to you father and trusting you will send me a good outcome of the problesm Eron and I have and are facing. Father I know the only wat to reach you is through your son Jesus. So father I come to you and pray through your son Jesus Amen

I thank you all for your prayers. I have found it in my heart to forgive Eron like our father tells us to. I have given each and every problem to God and asked that he heal and protect me. Today I just feel numb, yet I still cry. I don't have any intentions of calling Eron or talking to him unless he calls me or talks to me because this would be taking the problems back from our heavenly father. I am asking our father that if it is in his will for Eron and I to talk to eachother or be with eachother that he presents the oppertunity and doesn't hold this back from me. I write each and everyone of these prayer requests and the prayers I send all of you from the bottom of my heart. Today my heart isnt telling me anything I just feel numb.I have so amny un answered questions that only God and Eron can asnswer and I am alos asking that God help me discover the answer to thses questions. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, at this point in time I feel numb and I dont know if it's because God has taken my pai away from me, or if it's because I only found all this out 2 days ago. I don't know how I am going to feel 5 minutes from now let alone days from now so please keep me in your prayers. I am going to try my hardest to keep praying for all of you, but sometimes it gets really hard to even read some of the prayers here because I just wish so much that none of us hurt. I love all of you and hope you understand that even though I am not responding to each of you like I normally would I am praying and I am just too weak to sit here and type to all of you. I love you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Father I know you are with me and healing me as I speak to you. Father I thank you for each momnet in my life that you allowed Eron and I to be together and talking. Father I know that I will be healed and I will learn a great deal from this. Father I thank you for giveing me this tribulation. Father I promise you I will get through this with your help and I will show you I am the person you believe I am. Father I am a child of your and I am hurting. I know your will will be done in my life. Father I ask that if it is in your will for Eron and I to talk again or be together that you show us the way where right now there seems to be no way. Father I ask that you heal me and protect me from the hurt I am feeling. Father I promise to you that I will NOT take thses problems back from you and I have fully given my heart and soul to you to do your will in my life. Father I praise you for sending your only son to die for my sins. Father I praise you for being the one and only God. Father I praise you for being with me and walking with me right now as I speak. Father I know that the only way to you is through your son Jesus. With that father I come to you through your son and I pray Amen

Father I come to you this afternoon and thank you for each and everyday you allow me to roam the earth you created. Father I thank you for being my strength and my rock. Father I thank you for eaqh and every second you have allowed Eron and I to talk to eachother and be together. Father I ask that if it is in your will that Eron and I talk or be together again that you open that path and present it to me. If it is not in your will I askt hat you cloes this situation forever. Father I ask that you be my strength through the day and walk with me. Father I ask that if you decide to close this door you first let me get the answers I need to move on with my life. Father I ask that if it is in your will you allow Eron and I to discuss this situation and me to get the answers I so long for. Father I praise you for releasing my blessing. Father I praise you for being my one and only God. I praise you for sending your son to die for my sins. I praise you for life and death. I praise you for leading me to this comforting site. Father I praise you for the prayer warriors that keep me in their prayers. Father I know the only way to reach you is through your son Jesus and with that I come to you through your son and praise and worship and thank and pray to you Amen

I am feeling ok today, but I feel like it's going to end up one of those tear filled days. Please just pray in agreement with me about if it is in Gods will for Eron and I to talk or be together again that he allow me to see the path to get there and if not then he shut this doory forever. Thank you all for your prayers.

Well here is my tear filled day. It started off ok and got better as the day went on, now I feel like I dont know I cant even explain it. Please just pray for my strenght.

I give up on being with Eron. I give up on finding the answers. I give up on wondering and waiting. I give up. Father I just plain give up on all of this except of course you. I am weak and I give up. Amen

I have figured out a lot in the last 18 hours. I now know why it is so hard to give up on Eron. When my mom was doing drugs and my dad was beating us kids to find out where my mom had ran off to to get her fix, everyone abandoned me. I had noone not one family member or firend to be there. I was having panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I was in constent fear of my dad killing my mother or us kids. I was in fear of myself dieing or my parents going to jail. My parents both were heavy into drugs my entire life and not only used but sold. At this time I believed in God but never turned to him for help. The Eron came into my life and never left no mattter how hard it was to deal with my attitude and my problems at home. I was such an unhappy girlfriend and he dealt with it all. The Eron found out his parents were leaving and moving and I helped him through all of that. Never did I turn to God during this time even though I now know he was with me the whole time. Because Eron was the only one here on earth that helped me through all of this I am scared to let go and let God. I didnt have a relationship with God back then so Eron was the only one I felt there for me. We have so much history and he has helped me so many times I hurt letting him go. I now know that God was there the entire time and he was the one that helped me through all of this. Now God is my number one where he should have always been but I put Eron as my number one. It still hurts leaving my number 2 behind. Eron is my number 2 and I feel always will be and that is what makes it so hard just to let go of him.

I feel down and out today. I have been really strong in just letting go and letting God, but today I feel it is different. I feel as if once more I want to just rip it all away from him and fix this on my own. I know I cant and I wont, but I feel as if I want to. I miss Eron. I miss his silly little nickname he had for me. It was B for baby. I miss the fact that he was always there when I needed him day or night. I am struggaling with the fact that I know God is the one I need to turn to now and forever, but I want so badly to be able to turn to Eron.I have been strong and have not shed many tears this whole time and now I am begining to realize I may never speak to Eron again let alone be with him. I miss my best friend. God is my number 1 best friend and I know that and so does he, but Eron is my number 2 and I miss him as I always do. Please just pray that God blesses me and strengthens me. I am having a rotton night and I just want it to go away already. I want my life back. I want Eron my best friend here on earth back. I know that if it is Gods will I will have it all back, but I am struggaling with the how to move on part of this if its not Gods will, and so far he has not shown me that it is his will. I need you all right now. I need your prayers as I am in a low spot. Please pray with me.

I am loseing faith in all of this. I thank you all for your support and prayers, and advice. I am having trouble to be honest reading some of the advice that is given to me from you all because it's not what I want to hear and it's hard to take in, but thank you for it anyways. I thought this was supposed to get easier as time goes on, but it just keeps getting worse for me. Father I give my life to you. I give this entire situation with Eron to you. I give you my fears. I give you my weakeness. I give you my heart and my soul. I give you everything in my life and I am standing still and waiting for you to do your works. Father please be my rock. I need you to pick me up and walk with me today. I love you father and I am trusting in you, even though its hard sometimes and I dont completely know how to trust in you. Teach me father about you. Teach me your word and show me your will for my life. I am waiting. Father I am waiting and standing here still, but father I cant promise I am not going to cry because it hurts. Father please forgive me for my sins. Please forgive me for thinking down on Melissa. I am just so hurt that he is with her and not with me. Father thank you for everything good and bad that you are doing in my life, well what I think is bad I know you dont. Father thank you for being my number one fan and the number one in my life. I love you father and I come to you in your son Jesus name Amen

I need help. Tha's just it I need help. I don't know where to begin to move on with my life. I don't even know if thats what God wants for me. I don't know if I am supposed to move on with out Eron or if this is just a bump in the road to us being together. I don't understand this. I feel like I am about to emotionally break and I am the strong one. I'm supposed to be the one to help others get through their tough days. I would like to say that Eron coming back to being with me every 6 months or 2 weeks or however long is Gods way of telling me that we are meant to be but our own free will is killing us, but I don't know. I would like to say that I have a strong relationship with God and that he is showing me what he wans me to do but I am not seeing it. I just want him to show me what I do next. I am so lost. To see another couple holding hands or kissing or even seeing it in the movies right now makes me want toball my eyes out. I don't know how to do this.

I am sorry to all of you I have not returned prayers to. I have been busy with work, trying to get some rest, and studying for my exams. I am just trying to get through everything day by day. I am going to call Moday and try to get some therapy. Maybe this is what I need and one way I can maybe be happy. I have a really hard time with all of this because I am normally the one to lift people up and to help people through their dark days but the last few months it has been the other way around. I am trying to stay as busy as possible, but every second I have of down time is one more second I think about him. Please just continue to pray that if it is Gods will that Eron and I are together again that he show me the path I have to take to get there and if not that he closes the door forever. Please pray that he helps me to stay in good spirits and just stand still until he gives me my next Jouney whatever that may be. I am praying for all of you and thank you all for your continued advice and prayers. I hope maybe tonight or tomorrow after church I will have some time to sit down and reply to each of you! Much Love to all Amber

It ahs been almost a week since I gave all my problems and this entire situation to God. I am proud to say I have not taken it back from him this time. I have not contacted Eron even though I so badly want to. I am waiting on God, and his will for everything. Everyday is a struggle for me. I miss Eron so much, yet I know that I have to wait on God for my answers. It is so hard to do a lot of the things I used to do or listen to the same music, because so much of it reminds me of Eron. Most of what I do or what I like are things I did with Eron, and it hurts me to do those things now because I wish he was with me again doing them. I have to drive to Battle Creek everyday for the next 3 weeks and I don't think in the last 4 years I have been to Battle Creek without seeing Eron. Everyday I drive there is another day I struggle with. I am trying so hard to be strong. I do have to say that most of the time during the day I am thinking of God, but when I hear or see somthing that Eron and I saw or heard it reminds me of him and I cant help but miss him and think about him for a moment. I wonder what he is doing and How work is going. How is he is he ok today. Did he have a good day at work? How is his family? Will him and I ever talk again? Will I ever see him again? Does he think about me like I do him? Why did all of this happen? Does he still care about me? These are just some of the daily thoughts that runb through my head. I give these to God to answer and I don't know if they will ever be answered but I hope so. Thank you all for your prayers!

This is what my astrology report said today: Wednesday, May 7
If the selection of your mate has been right, you now are going to obtain sufficient proof about your selection. Thus, you will note that the other person actually wants you and needs you, which, without a doubt, will generate a juvenile and refreshing sensation in you.
I really don't know if I believe in astrology or what God says and thinks about it but I pray that if this report is true and if it is in God's will for me to see somthing like this that he allow me to do so. I am still praying for all of you. I am taking a 2 week long course right now and by the time I get home it's late and I have to study so I don't have much time to get on here. I am in class for 6-8 hours a day for these 2 weeks and I don't really have much time to think about things which is good, but when I get home and actually have time for myself it still hurts a lot. I still wonder why and have the same ol questions I did the day before. I am not worried or mad or anything like that I have already forgiven Eron but I am still confused and hurt. I love you all and I miss being on here so much. It kind of upsets me because I was on here all the time and now I have no time but to answer a couple prayer requests. I would love to be able to answer you all individually. I wont have class this weekend so you all will hear from me very soon! I am still praying for you all though.

I am diesing inside. It's to the point where I don't even feel like praying or reading the bible and that's just not me. I am seeing no breakthroughs in any of this. I am not getting any answered prayers not one of my prayers has been answered and I don't know what to think or do. I am trying to continue having faith but I cant when I am not seeing any change in my life and feel like God isnt hearing me. I can't take this anymore and to be honest I can not wait for our father to take me home with him. I hope he comes to get us soon. I am not the type who thinks of suicide because I do not believe in that but I do beleieve God will come and take us home with him someday. I just cant go on like this anymore. I cant find a counceler because none will take my insurance and I dont have the money to pay out of piocket. I miss Eron more than I have missed anyone in my entire life. I just want all of this to be over. Sometimes I wish I would have never ,et Eron and none of this would have happened but other times I feel like he was one of the best things God has ever done for me. I just need guidence and I need a prayer answered.

Well God definalty showed me up today. I rolled my car today and my best friend was with me. My best friends boyfriend asked us to take her youngest daughter with us but we did not. I thank God for giving us the courage to say no. My best friend and I are ok. What happened is I was going up a hill on a dirt road (on my side of the road) and a guy under the influence of drugs without a drivers licennce in some one elses truck was coming up the other side of the road and so I swerved and spun out and rolled my car. Well if I would have hit this man head on I would have died because he was going at least 60 as I was only going 35 and in a very small car compared to his very large f150. God showed me what his glory really can do today. I am a lot sore but I am alive. Thanks for all your prayers God really let me know he is listening. I love you all.

Thank you all for praying for me! I guess a couple good things came out of this. First Eron messaged me asking me if I was ok and how this all came about so maybe this is Gods begining for us to talk again???!!!!! The next is my car is fixable even though it will be a little dented up!!! I priase the lord for all of this and all of you who lift me up each and everyday. I just ask that you pray for the man in the other car Wally because he was under the influence and had no liecence. I pray that he relaizes how close he came to taking someones lift through his prior actions. I pray for his salvation if he is not saved, and I pray for his addiction and that he finds a way to get through all of this. I am not sure what is going to happen with him and all of this but I am praying God has mercy upon him. I have forgiven him like our father tells us too. I love you all, but I need to rest now. I feel like I have been hit by a train.

I don't know what this means. I have not taken the situation with Eron and I back from God and I will not, but Eron looked at my myspace page and found out about my accident and immideatly was talking to me. He did not call me but he did message me online. I don't know if this is maybe Gods way of saying hold on or if maybe God is going to bring us back to talking to eachother. Please just pray for Gods will to be done and if it is his will that Eron and I begin a new friendship that a path is made for us to begin that. I have not contacted Eron in almost 8 days and out of the blue he contacted me about my accident and told me and showed me how concerened he was for me and that makes me feel good, but I dont know what it is. please just pray that God clairfys all of this for me!

I am really struggaling with what this means. I don't know what the fact that Eron was concerned for me from the accident and the fact that he sent me a myspace message means. I don't know if that is god telling me just to hold on a bit more or if it was just God saying he really does care, but he isnt ment for you. I am really very diassapointed in myself. For the last 19 days that God has had the situation with Eron and I in his hands I just stood still through all the pain and I did not take the problems away from God. Well afyter Eron messaged me and then I messaged him back and got no response even though he read the message, I took the problems back because at that point I should have known it was time to just stand still again and Eron was not ready to get into conversation with me again about how he is doing and stuff. Instead I sent him another message with the story of Jesus being taken to the cross (the one I sent most of you) because I thought he would li8ke it, but again no response. I should have known after there was no response after my reply to him that I neede to just pray to God again and stand still but I didnt I snet him that message and now I feel that God is going to feel I just took 10 steps back in my faith and trust in him and its really not that at all. I just thought that maybe this was the opeertunity that God was blessing me with to talk to Eron again, but I guess not and now I am concerned with what to do next because I took the problems back. So pretty much now I have to start all over again and learn from whatever comes with this mistake I made.Pleas just pray for clarification with all of this and that God guides me and forgives me for taking thses things back. Please pray that if it is God's will for Eron and I to talk again that God continues this path that he already opened. I can officially mar one question as a prayer answered and that one question would be wheather or not Eron still cares about me and that is yes because he was very concerned for me after he found out about the accident. Please just continue praying for me asd this is still a daily struggle for me. My Body is also healing and I thank God for that. I still have some bruses and my back and ribs still hurt a lot but its getting better. So thank you God for everything Amen.

I am believeing that today is a new day and will be a wonderful blessed day. I believe that if God had it in his heart and in his will for me that Eron and I aren't meant to talk again he would have never blessed me with the oppertunity to talk to him the other day. Now I am back to standing still and believing God is going to do wonders in my life. I know Eron wrote me for a reason and God allowed him to do so. I am praying that his will be done and that whatever that is I am able to accept it fully. I am praying for strength and my heart to be strngthened against the thoughts and actions that are being brought up by the evil one. I have to go to school now and take a teast so pray that I pass this test. I love you all and will respond to each of you as soon as I have time.

I am truely sorry I have not been able to respond to each of you yet. I really dont like to send around a prayer that is like what I call a universal prayer. Dont get me wrong they are ok, but I like to make my prayers for people personal and take the time doing that. It is a long process to catch up on praying for all of you so bare with me I know I am not useually so slow about this, but this class is taking up much of my time. As for This relationship situation, I am waiting on God, but and finding that its starting to be a bigger struggle and getting harder everyday. I am finding that its getting harder to go throughout the day with out crying or missing my best friend so much. When I say best friend I mean my second best friend as God and Jesus are tied for first. I know that I should be turning to God for all of this and I am, but this accident situation is stressing me out and just has me in a bad situation and I just want to hear its going to be ok. I want to be able to go to My best friend(eron) and talk to him but I cant. I have God and I have Jesus and they are wonderful to me, but its nice to have firends here on earth to turn to for a an uplifiting message. Not saying that you all dont do that for me I just sometimes wish Eron could still be that for me. I have found so much comfort in him . I miss my best friend more than I miss anyone else. Please just keep praying, I know how much you all prolly get sick of hearing me go on and on about how much I miss Eron and How much I hurt but its the one thing in my life that if I could just change it right now with the flick of a light I would in a second. I have a lot of things that go wrong on a daily basis but none that I care about or want changed as much as I do this. I seriously think that if this relationship was changed I would feel so blessed by God I prollyu wouldnt asdk for aonther thing ever even if I had to live on the street. that is how much I long for Eron. Eventhough I long for God even more.