Things always seem to get worse I guess before they get better... My boyfriend and I have broken up he has been cheating on me with several women who now contact me about him I guess trying to hurt me they way he did them... my family was once so supportive of my spiritual growth now has cast me down in a sense because of my boyfriend because he was a lier and deceiver now I'm brainwashed in their eyes... because God led me to be saved in a way thru him... but everything that I know God has given me favor to see truth thru the lies... but mostly thru His word which I do my best to study daily... they are mad at me for not showing them my hurt and disdain for James instead telling them 'do not return evil for evil' but then I myself am now having trouble forgiving what he has done and I seem to keep finding out more and more which is holding me to my wounds... James says now he has found new faith and is trying to live his life the right way with God instead of just preaching about it... but I can't see any of it because he has talked about God since I met him and still turned around and did some of the worst things... my heart is so heavy because I don't want to hate him I want to forgive him I want to let him go but for some reason I can't do these things... I am so thankful to my God because He has yet blessed me despite me giving into my wrath and behaving ungodly when I have been hurt... I have so much to be thankful for at my 25 years because of God's favor for me I have accomplished so much... but because for this hurt and my family's reactions I have not been able to enjoy my life... there is a sadness that is looming over my head... I find myself being strong for others uplifting them with the word of God even one of these women that James cheated on me with but I cannot find the strength for myself... what's worse is I have asked God if this is my husband and I have had dreams and confirmation from random people who have prayed on me that seems to be what He wants but I can no longer see this vision... Thank you for your prayers and please say another for me