Thank you so much to those who were so kind to pray for me, your kindness brings me to tears, I hope and pray things get better i am trying to hard to hold it together, I have told everyone that i just need to talk and no one seems to understand that i just need a listening ear and i hug, no on ei s listening and i dont know what to do i wish i could talk to a shrink but i have no insurance at this time, I have always done anything for anyone even the shirt off my back if i had to volunteered and helped people in need all my life, Im so ashamed and sorry about why i am having legal trouble and so scared because if i do go to jail i really will have no one they dont realize i need them to be here now i truly apologize for rambling on, this and a journal are my only means of getting it off my chest im just so scared and lonely i am starting to realize how worthless i really am, my parents didnt care all my life: my father didnt think i was his and didnt love me and my mother only loved me when i did things for her, she let me know how she really felt a few times then i finally got it, but i always held on to hope that things would be better and always helped people so they wouldnt lack anything and i did some things i am nownot proud of now i realized my family didnt love me so why should anyone else God is all i have left i found hope when finding this site was an attempt i am trying to save my life please forgive me for making this so long i am truly sorry

as for my relationship situation he has only been home maybe 10 times this year he says he working and its not like that but he has clothes and doesnt call me alot but when i talk to him he says he is working and getting things done he is trying and he misses me, i just need someone to talk to i dont mean to be a pest dear Lord please touch his heart to come home i miss him and i an so lonely i have no one.