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updated about 1 month ago
Burgandy

Relationship between a Mother and her Teen-aged Daughter

Hello Everyone:

It seems I continue to struggle with the relationship between my 15 1/2 year old daughter.

Her dad and I are divorced. I have been out of "his" house for over a year now. I moved 15 miles away. I gave him almost everything plus the house that we lived in.

Her dad is a very direct, no-nonsense type of person and used to fight quite a lot during his younger days. (He is 25 years older than me) She thinks and knows I am a doormat and seems to think fight is "cool" and she won't be like me and put up with things that I do. He and I don't talk, but obviously he is "cool". I overheard her conversation with her dad and she said she is going to get into a fight tomorrow at school. She has missed tons of school already! She is at risk for not graduating in a few years due to her absences. She doesn't listen to my reasoning and says I have jinxed her to fight tomorrow. She doesn't seem to care what I think.

She has no chores around the house. The only chore she does have is to take care of her cat and I have to fight her on that. I never ask her to do anything because it's a big argument and my 83 year old landlord lives downstairs so I try to keep the peace. It never seems to work. I am always the bad guy and she tunes me out when I do talk to her. I can't even gently talk to her unless it is something she agrees on and benefits her.

I am tired of paying for the divorce of her dad and have given up many things so my kids would think I am being fair. I was wrong and my daughter doesn't seem to see what I went through for over 20 years with the many types of abuse and submissiveness I went through.

It seems she is taking over her dad's place and telling me what to do etc. Some days I hardly say a word to her because her attitude.

Because of a bad situation with an ex-friend, she quit believing God and mocks me for my belief system. As you can see, I am entirely frustrated, plus dealing with her brother Casey's special problems too. I am tired and only want to do right by my children but have some problems of my own and need many prayers. I feel I am at the end of my rope without solutions. I know God is there, but feel the need to reach out to others to help me pray. Thank you....

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Update - about 1 month ago:

I get tired of trying. My daughter got mad because I told someone about her concern over her dad. She blew up at me and said I am not supposed to tell anyone! I am trying to get her to reach out to people, but she builds a wall and I am building one too, I am tired of walking on eggshells around her... I am getting really sick to my stomach.....

Update - about 1 month ago:

Thanks for your prayers and PLEASE continue to pray for us..... Some days are good and some days I walk on eggshells. I have to tippy-toe around what is happening with her dad. :(((

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SCSunny
SCSunny Dallas NC

God loves, forgives and makes it right.
Jeremiah 33:3 3Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. 8 8And I will cleanse them from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against me; and I will pardon all their iniquities, whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against me
Psalms 37:4,5 4Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Isaiah 43:19 19Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
1 Corinthians 10:19 13There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
Heavenly Father Your Word is so sweet to my ears and comfort to my heart. I love You and thank You for all Your mercy and grace that You shower on me each day. Give me strength to be a better person, wisdom to make right decisions, and love for all my fellowman and to do what I can where I can. Bless me that I might be a blessing and enlarge my territory and keep me from evil. In the sweet name of Jesus. Amen

Roxana_Allyson
Roxana_Allyson Australia

Dear Lord, Please bring inner peace, harmony and loving, open communication to Burgandy and her precious daughter. Please diffuse the volatile and fragile relationship they share and help them to work out any problems calmly. Please help Burgandy's daughter understand that her mother loves her and only wants the best for her. Burgandy is doing the very best she can under very stressful conditions, please give her the tools she needs to keep trying and believing in herself. In Jesus name, amen

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Tony_C
Tony_C Philadelphia

Burgandy, I offer you this prayer to St. Thérèse, who is an inspiration to me. I offer it up for you and pray that God hears the voice within your heart, and that he send a rose to you to fill your days with joy and peace, and soothe the struggle that your daughter has so that she will see the love and hope you have for her all the days of her life. May God bless you and your family and guide and protect you all the days of your life. Amen

NOVENA ROSE PRAYER
O Little Thérèse of the Child Jesus,
please pick for me a rose
from the heavenly gardens
and send it to me as a message of love.

O Little Flower of Jesus,
ask God today to grant the favours
I now place with confidence in your hands...

(Make your request here...)

St. Thérèse,
help me to always believe as you did,
in God’s great love for me,
so that I might imitate
your "Little Way" each day.

Amen

onelmichele
onelmichele Roseville,Michigan

Lord I continue to lift up my dear precious sister Burgandy. What a wonderful, caring, and beautiful woman she is! I pray Lord that her daughter would see these things as well. Lord, so often teenagers can get sucked into their own worlds and disconnect themselves from those that care for them the most. I pray Jesus for a breakthrough in the relatinship of Burgandy and her daughter. I pray Lord for more GOOD days, than bad. May Burgandy continue to be a witness for her family, and may her daughters heart be moved to have a personal relationship with you. Jesus, I pray that you can help Burgandy, renew her spirit and strength, let her know you are on her side! I pray Lord for solid support for Burgandy whether it be friends, family, church group, anything that would continue to boost her self worth, and give her continued guidance. She is such a wonderful person and always willing to pray for others. i pray lord that you can do a mighty work in her life, and specificially the relationships with her children. In the precious name of Jesus ,Amen.

Riveroffaith
Riveroffaith Gods Country, USA

For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife." Proverbs 30:33 May god bless you with new beginnings, In jesus name, amen

kbooth
kbooth la

God bless this family with favors in all areas of need. Send angels to minister to this daughter constantly. Teach her how important family is. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen
Please go to my site and pray for my daughter. I lit candles but it didn't bring it up to the home page. Thanks so much. Kbooth

memo
memo Los Angeles, CA.

Precious Heavenly Father God:
I continue to lift up my sister Burgandy to you and pray that you will restore her relationship with her daughter and that her daughter's heart will be softened and she will be more understanding to her mom. Please bless this family and let your precious will be done for them.
In Jesus Mighty Name I Pray..............
AMEN......................

GOD BLESS YOU SISTER BURGANDY FOR YOUR KIND AND LOVING HEART......................

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Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Hey Memo, Thank you SO much for your kind words. I am so worried and sick about many issues. I am good at worry! Thanks for your time!
cju
cju New Jersey, USA

Lord I stand in agreement with Burgundy and her prayers for her and her children. Please remove all the obstacles and let blessings and healing cover them all. Please bless them all with strength, guidance, love, forgiveness, understanding and let all be well. Please st jude st anne st anthony st michael st joseph st gabriel st theresa st rita st nicholas st gerard and mother mary pray unceasingly for them all. thank you Lord. God Bless you all amen

Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Thank you CJU, I pray things are better for your family. YOU are in my prayers too!
FirstJohn51415
FirstJohn51415 Weldon Spring, Mo

Dear Burgandy..you know we walk the same paths of frustration with our daughters. I have finally learned to give it to God to handle, cause I can't do it alone. I was getting so frustrated wtih Chloe's behavior . I have a Godly home. God is first in my life and my home and the more I make it that way..the more satan tries to keep it out of order by having my daughter get involved in one wacky thing after the other. Serious, dangerous things that could have gotten her killed. I praise God for stepping in and removing the really dangerous things from her. Satan tries many times to draw her back in but God always stops it. I praise God for constantly alerting me to satan's attempts to destroy my daughter. Chloe gets mad and blows up and then I get dragged in and we go round and round..slowly but surely , God is making me more aware of the blow ups..not to get sucked into them..not to get in fights, arguments, shouting matches..it's hard..but getting into that stuff only results in angry words being exchanged and the sting and hurt from those words last a long long time. I have to pray to God to make me mindful of my mouth around my daughter. It is all very hard but it's how we have to fight satan to stand firm and not allow him to take our daughters. Satan takes advantage of this hard hormonal period our teenage girls are going through. The tiniest thing can set them off. I pray that God shows you..as he does me..that these are kids..they are our babies..they are so influenced by the world..they are not strong enough to fight satan's firery darts off..that is why we was parents have to put on that Holy Armor and stand with God as HE fights this battle for us. No matter how it hurts..no matter how long it takes..I pray that God replaces the bad that the world tried to put in your daughter..with His Holy grace and Love..I pray that He constantly sends good people around your daughter to influence her in His ways. I pray that God shows you..as HE does me..the "right way" to train our children up..so that they go the 'right way'..His way..I pray for God's peace to come upon your home..that HIs peace is always there..especially during the times that satan stirs up the hornets nest with our children. I pray for GOd to give you grace and strength to keep hanging in there..until this trial too shall pass..I pray this in Jesus name..amen
God bless you and your children...

karla

Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Karla, Thank you for taking time out of your own concerns to be here for mine.
memo
memo Los Angeles, CA.

Sweet & Preciuos sister Burgandy:
I just want you to know that you are very special and God & Jesus Love You very much... Never lose hope nor feel that you are not loved, because you are and even though I have never met you I love You as a sister in Christ. Whenever you need me I'll be here for you..............
Love & Hugs to You................................

May the Lord's Love & God's love always shine in your life and may thier love be all that you will ever need for they are great and they know our burdens and will never abandon nor forsake us....
I Love You my sister.............
Have a blessed Good Night.............................

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Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Memo, You are SO sweet! I feel so lost lately and want to go and hide. I have too many issues and find it hard to not worry about so many things. I am sick to my stomach once again, because I don't feel too good about myself. Not only parenting, too many years of emotional abuse! :(
mr_dan
mr_dan NM

Burgandy,I want to thank you for praying for me and my family. I pray that you be blessed of God.Something happened that I cannot submit a comment on my page. I pray for you and your children. In Jesus Name. Amen!!

Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Hi Mr. Dan, thanks for taking time to pray for myself and my family. I hope the thing you cannot submit is something positive.
caroy
caroy East Troy, WI

Dear Lord, I come to you in prayer today for Burgandy. I lift her to you for your healing, loving touch. Please comfort and strengthen her. Lift her up and give her the right words to use to help her daughter.Please soften her daughter's heart and help her to hear your voice. Help her to see that this is difficult on everyone. Please help them to start a new and loving relationship, help them to grow close and for that bond to strengthen. Give her patience and peace as she waits. Please wrap this family in your loving arms, comfort and strengthen them. In Jesus name, Amen.
My oldest is your daughter's age. If you ever need to talk-I'm here to listen. God bless you! carmen

Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Thank you for taking time to pray for us. Is your daughter acting out too? I am struggling with myself and not sure what to do. Thanks Carmen!
onelmichele
onelmichele Roseville,Michigan

Lord I lift up my sister, my heart is so heavy for the turmoil that this must be causing Burgandy. Lord I pray that you would stir in her daughters heart and give her a desire to have a relationship with you Jesus, I pray that you can bless her heart and mind and that she would get on a good path. Lord I pray for the relationship between mother and daughter that you can help them find a common bond, and that they can build a relationship that is very strong and positive. Lord, I ask that you can build up Burgandy and comfort her during this time. I pray that you can place people in her life that can support her and be in fellowship with her. Lord I ask that she feels encouraged and that she can continue to pray even if she feels that there hasnt been any immediate progress. For the Lords timing is not our timing, and all we can do is wait. I pray Lord that you can do a mighty work in this family, wash away their pain and restore them. Give them rest, give them peace. Strengthen and pour your love and blessing onto them. In the precious name of jesus, Amen.

Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Michele, Thanks SO much for taking time away from your Mom and all of the mourning you are going through to pray for my daughter and myself. You are too sweet. I am praying for you and your family too, thanks for giving your mom an extra hug from a stranger! :)
Roxana_Allyson
Roxana_Allyson Australia

Dear Burgandy, I am praying for the relationship with your daughter recieved God's healing and is blessed in every way. You are such a lovely, kind lady. I hope and pray your loved ones appreciate all that you do for them. Take care and God Bless, our prayers are with you. XXO

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Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Hi Roxana Allyson, Thanks so much for praying for me and my family once again!
mr_dan
mr_dan NM

Burgandy , your story sounds a lot like mine. It is usually the kids that suffer from a divorce more than any body else. But we cannot stand by and get stomped on. There is something called hindrance in such a relationship such as that. It hinders us from being the people God wants us to be. It is more of a struggle than the blessing it is supposed to be. It is simply that sometimes marriages do not work. Jesus said that except for immorality, we could not divorce our spouse. Immorality has many meanings. Not just sexual immorality. Abuse is not moral, lying, violence, belittling is not moral either.
My son was only 14 when we got divorced and I would talk to him in every opportunity so that it would not affect him too much. But still it affected him more than he thought. He told me that himself not too long ago. He is 17 now and is really a good boy. but there are some things that I don't like him doing. I posted a prayer request just a couple of days ago for him more than anything. But your situation is a bit more complicated. Your ex is doing no good in bragging about violence and fighting. That is just not right. Your daughter is a victim of his violent thinking. You have every right to stand up and tell her what you think about her behavior. I will pray for you.
Father God, I ask you Lord Jesus that Burgandy be able to cope with her daughter. She is tired and it seems that her ex is only making things worse. I ask that you reach out Your Mighty Hand and help her daughter have find peace within herself and not be trapped by the evil ways of the world. I pray the she will listen and finally break down and cry out to you. Then Burgandy and her will praise you and know that You are the Way. The Only way to peace and understanding. Move in Your Holy Spirit to move her daughter and bring her back to your ways Lord. Help Burgandy to find a way to be the role model for her daughter. All this we ask in the Name of Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior. Amen!!!

Burgandy - about 1 month ago: Mr Dan, thanks for taking time to read, pray and light candles. Sometimes I feel so lost.