You dear one have not done anything wrong, your brother is not lost. You are not lost, nor forsaken, nor neglected...when God looks at you, Jesus who is in you, is all he sees, by his Grace and Mercy you are whole, claim your wholeness in Jesus Christ, which you deserve..I with you bind the spirit of fear, rejection, abandonment. I pray the Lord's peace into your soul, your mind, your carnal body and all your situations. See yourself, BOLD, I see you BOLD and STRONG; The Lord says, 'do not fear child, for I am with you always, even until the end of time'...and I know you will be OK> you only have to believe it!!! Its all a state of mind and thinking...you be OK...
Love and prayers

I'm looking for the same thing sister, searching for complete and unwavering faith. God is patient with us and Jesus want us to gain knowledge on God and improve our Faith. I believe that Jesus wants us to win because instead of giving up we are still searching. that it self is a good sign. We are bound to have more faith sister. that is our destiny. Don't loose hope in that.