The devil attacked, and harder than I can ever remember. I called...heart broken and venom like should not come out of a man's mouth...laughter while I was crying. Twisting my life and blaming me for every ounce and then announcing that he looks better than ever before (he came into a lot of money and this is what started the changes) women approach him at clubs every night and he decided with his friends he is going to "take every opportunity that comes his way"...God forgive me I snarled back and then fell on the ground in tears praying. I have to endure tonight, knowing he will go home with a woman. This man that I was to wed in 3 months, this man I grew up with, that I knew for 12 years of my life and that is all of my adult life. Since I was 19. I never thought this would happen...but it has. And I sit alone at home in front of a television praying that the Lord will wrap his arms around me. But feeling nothing...
I can't stop sobbing. He wouldn't answer the phone because he picked up a woman. I have to get through this night knowing some girl is by his side,...please Jesus, show me you exist tonight, I need You.
The Lord gave me a bit of a calm now. With the help of some sleeping medicine and the Max Lucado book Come Thirsty, I will try to get some sleep. I pray for protection from the nightmares that sometimes come...and I pray for the safety of the man who is betraying what we had yet again. May he be safe in God's hands and somehow, not for me, but for himself, hear that still small voice of the Lord in him somewhere. God help him.
My prayer requests are not showing up. Odd. I saw him yesterday, on Sunday briefly. It did not go well at all. In fact I believe the devil even used me because I was cruel and told a lie to hurt him...we spoke again today, he would like to meet tonight to talk again. I plan to meet him but am fearful. Is this the devil's attempt or God working or my selfish nature, what? I need direction peace and strength to not fall back into this if this is what the Lord wants or does not want. Please pray for me tonight!
God please comfort your daughter and hold her close, easing the pain of this breakup. Help her to know that it is because of his choices, and grant her peace that she knows she can release the outcome to you. Help her to know, that for all her losses, you have promised to open up other doors, with things even better for her. Thank you for touching her in her extremity to remind her of your own rejection and that it wasn't the last word - that you let forgiveness trump revenge. Give her your peace that she may find her stength in you. Please send her faithful followers to helf lift her spirits and take care of her physically as she may be too distracted to think of her own real needs. Please bless her with sleep and sustenance during this time and lead her on a good path to start to grow past this and towards you.
I am Praying for you sister! God be for us who can be aganist us :) Rember that sister. Bless You in Jesus Name,,Amen and Amen,,,Little Sister
This is truly heartbreaking, I have been through something similar in the last 9 months, just stop calling him first of all if he is not answering your calls. The demons in him are feeding off of your sorrow and will continue to make him laugh at you because they know that it is hurting you. At this point the devil has hardened his heart with greed and lust. Dont blame yourself for any of this. Stay away from this man until you are able to handle being around him without falling apart. Continue to trust the Lord to heal you and try to handle this situation as gracefully and with as much dignity that your broken heart can handle. The Lord will take your tears and turn them into joy just give him time, He will speak to your heart. As for this man who you loved, you have to pray for him he is in bondage right now, think about it if he dies tonight he will be another lost soul. Give it all to Jesus and He will do the rest.
God appoints but man disappoints. The songwriter said "My hope is built on nothing else but Jesus love and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name". I encourage you to remove your dependence on men and place it on Jesus--there will be no disappointment. Begin to seek God to find out what was the purpose for which He created you. Begin to walk in that purpose so that your life will have new meaning. Sometimes it is heartache and pain which becomes the wind to drive us towards our divine purpose. May God strengthen you in this painful period of your life. I remember Jesus suffering in the garden of Gethsemane just before his crucifixion. It was a betrayal of a trusted disciple which brought him that death. But it had to happen for a "purpose". So as hard as it may be, remember this too shall come to pass. And one day when you are restored, this shall be your testimony to encourage another person. God's blessings to you.