Dear Lord, please be with us tomorrow and help us to accept whatever the doctors tell us. Please be with my dad and help him to be able to make the trip and not to be sick or in pain. If it is in your will please help us to receive good news. Please take away his pain and suffering, help him to be able to visit, go outside and to just enjoy life. Help him to be able to eat and to build up his strength. Please Lord Jesus, lay your healing hands on him and heal him of this horrible disease. Dissolve the tumors and heal all the cells of his body. Help all of his lymph nodes to shrink and to stop causing him pain. Lord, I love him so much and it is so hard watching him suffer. Draw him closer to you and strengthen his faith and his hope. Thank you for loving us and for dying so that we can live with you forever, free from pain and suffering. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.

Thank you so much for all your prayers. But there is nothing that they can do for my dad. They said he has a really aggressive cancer that is quickly ravaging his body. The doctor told us to call hospice care and she only gave my dad six months. I am crying as I write this. I'm in shock. I thought there would be something to try. It was so hard to see my dad when he got the news, he sat there with tears flowing down his face not saying anything. This was not the kind of news any of us was expecting. I am sorry, I don't know what else to say. Thank you for all of your prayers, candles and kind words....

My dad still has hope. As we sat in the doctor's office he asked if there was anything else to try. The doctor told him that at this point she wouldn't want him to do anything else but enjoy the time he has left. If he went through chemo again he would be sick and have all of the side effects, and he would be in the clinic for long hours. With tears streaming down his face he said he wanted to try something else. He went yesterday for chemo, he was there for six hours. Thank you for your prayers and comforting words. I knew that this was always a possibility but it was such a shock. I think that acceptance will take a while. I haven't gone to see him since Wednesday, all I do is cry and I don't want to make this harder on him or upset him anymore than he already is.

My dad is going for his second chemo treatment tomorrow 5-15. His is already starting to feel the side effects of the chemo. He has been in good spirits lately. He's quiet but he visits with everyone. He is eating more but he's starting to feel sick to his stomach because of the chemo. He is also starting to feel really tired again. We are only having to give him the IVs twice a week so he is getting enough liquids and he's not dehydrated. His rhubarb is up in his garden so I picked some and I'm going to make his favorite rhubarb custard pie for him. I know that he won't eat much, but maybe it'll make him feel better. He makes these pies every year for himself because my mom doesn't like them. This year my kids and I will make them for him. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. God bless you! carmen

5-28 My dad is getting his chemo treatment right now. He couldn't go last week because his platelet count was too low. I just pray that these treatments work and that they shrink his tumors and get rid of all the cancer cells. I can't believe that God would let him suffer and be in so much pain and not heal him. I just pray that this last round of chemo hasn't been for nothing. Heavenly Father, please help this chemo medication to be the one to rid his body of this cancer. Please bless this medication as it goes through his body, help it to shrink the tumors and to kill the cancer cells. Please help my dad to stay strong and to fight this disease, strengthen him mind, body, and soul. Please remove the crushing weight feeling that he has in his chest. Please help him to breathe freely and without pain and discomfort. Please lessen the side effects from his treatments help him not to get sicker and feel so nauseous and rundown. Please ease his pain and suffering. Please help us to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are so in need of some good news. These last months have been so hard. I know that you love us and want the best for us, but I hate seeing the people I love suffer so much. Please keep the whole family strong, help us to deal with all of the problems. In Jesus name, Amen.

5-29 My mom called and my dad just fell. He was standing at the counter in the kitchen, he was talking to my mom as he was leaning on the counter and then he couldn't use his left arm. He couldn't get it to work. He said that it was like it was sleeping. My mom thinks that because of this he lost his balance and fell. He hit his head on a chair and cut his head. He is on blood thinners so it is bleeding alot. My mom was going to call my husband to come and help him up, but he got up and into the chair. Dear Lord, I come to you in prayer for my dad. Please help this not to be something serious. I am holding onto your promise that by Jesus stripes my dad will be healed. Please stop this cancer from growing, dissolve the tumors and remove all of the cancer cells. He is suffering so much, Lord. Please take away all his pain and strengthen him. Please help none of us to lose hope. You are all we have. Please grant my dad a miraculous recovery. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.

5-30 They are taking my dad to the clinic now. They wanted to see him right away. They wanted to do an MRI but my dad doesn't want it. They think it's a neurological(sp?) problem. If they find something they'll use radiation on him right away. He has a little more control over his arm. He can hold his cane but not his cereal bowl. I am really scared, I think we are getting to the end. When I was talking to my mom she said that we can't get mad or yell at him that if he doesn't want to do anymore it's his choice. He has to decide when he has had enough. I am not ready for this!

6-2 My dad is going for a catscan on his chest and neck today at noon. Then he will have to decide if he should under go radiation for his swollen lymph nodes. He is not sure that he wants to go through more. They think that they are why he's losing strength and the ability to use his arm. They said the swollen lymph nodes might also be causing his dizziness. Could you please help us pray that God will guide my dad in his decision and that he'll make the right decision. Dear Heavenly Father please be with my dad and help him to make the right decision. Please shrink his lymph nodes and help relieve his pain and other problems. Please shrink the tumors in his lungs. Continue to heal him from this cancer. Draw him closer to you and fill him with your peace. Please comfort him and strengthen him as he makes these decisions. Please be with the rest of us and help us to accept whatever decisions that he makes. Please be with my family, comfort us and strengthen us. Thank you for everything that you are doing in our lives. In Jesus name, Amen.

6-12 My dad has been going for radiation daily since last Tuesday. This time the radiation doesn't seem as bad. Praise the Lord!! He is not having really bad side effects-that can only be because of God! His swollen lymph nodes are pushing on his blood vessels and cutting off blood flow. They hope that the radiation will shrink the lymph nodes and allow better blood flow and they hope he will get the use of his left arm back. He has had to stop chemo while he is getting radiation. This really scares me because nothing is being done for the cancer and tumors. He has really been having trouble breathing with the humid weather we have been having. The other day my mom took him into the clinic and then went and moved the car, when she came back she overheard him talking with the nurse. He had tears streaming down his face and he asked her when he should stop. When was it enough. It sounds like he is deciding to stop getting treatments. On the way home, my mom tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't. When they got home he said, there is nothing to talk about I'm dying. Then he went into the house and into his room for the rest of the night. I'm not really sure what is coming next, he has a couple more days of radiation and then they will see if it has helped, then we will have to see if he wants to start chemo again. Thank you for your continued prayers and candles they are greatly appreciated.

6-18 My mom just called and told me that she is very worried about my dad. His legs are numb and he can't get them to move. He is really having trouble walking and getting them to do what he wants. She called his doctor and they want to do an MRI to see if something is pressing on his nerves or something. But, my dad will not go for one. I guess we will just have to pray and leave it up to God. The radiation is over. It doesn't seem to have been as bad this time. They can't start him on chemo again for 4 weeks. We are praying that the cancer hasn't and won't grow and spread in this time. My dad wasn't upset when they told him that he'd have to wait for the chemo. He is hoping that he will start to feel better during this time. Maybe he has already made his decision about his treatments. I have been trying to spend time with him and get done the outdoor stuff that he usually does. It just breaks my heart to see him just sit there and not be able to do the gardening and yard work. He loves to garden. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to watch someone else do the things that he loves for him. Please continue to pray for God to heal my dad. He is the only one that can help.

6-30 My dad had a really bad week last week. He should be over the worst of the side effects from the radiation now. Hopefully, he will start to feel better. My mom and dad talked a little last week and she thinks that he has accepted that he is dying. I was over there on Friday with my kids and he was crying a lot. I would be talking to him and he'd have tears running down. It was so hard to continue talking or whatever I was doing. It is starting to seem like he is accepting that his going to die and that he doesn't want to continue his chemo. I went to the bank with my mom to see if they could refinance their house and lower their payments. Without my dad working they have no money coming in and they are almost out of money. I really wish that there was something more that I could do, something to make this easier on my dad and to help so that he doesn't have to worry about anything. He won't ask for help or anything because he thinks it's an imposition. We need a miracle! It can't go on like this. With all the trouble I'm having, I can't imagine what my dad is going through. Thank you all for your continuing prayers. I think that they are the only things keeping us going.

7-8 Thank you all for your prayers. My dad is having a bad week this week. For the last two days all he is doing is throwing up. He can't eat anything because nothing stays down. My dad is so skinny he is under 130 lbs now. He looks like you could put your hand around his thigh and your fingers would touch. He seemed to be a little better last week. We were over there a lot. On tues. my mom lost my dad. She woke him up and gave him his medications and then he laid on the couch. My mom waited awhile and she thought he was asleep so she went to do wash. When she came back he was gone! She looked all over the house and couldn't find him. She checked the garage, the front yard, the deck and then she walked out into the backyard and their he was. He was on a six foot ladder picking cherries! He said that he wanted some before the birds got them.
Heavenly Father, you know how hard this is. Please help!!!!