I am exhausted from caring for my 47 year old disabled son. He forgets everything and I have to repeat things over and over. He has some erratic behavior and seems to be getting worse regarding his reasoning and decision making and memory. I do not know what to do so I have locked myself in my room for today and am checking on him once in awhile. He is not a danger to himself or to me. He is very sweet but I am very very weary of answering the same questions and repeating the same instructions about daily matters. Yesterday he asked me a question that really floored me because we had already discussed the matter at length and decided together what to do about a project he's working on and I went out and bought $50 worth of supplies for him and he was about to use something else that was totally inappropriate for the project. I am a Christian and so is he - in fact we are both very devout and are praying together every day. I don't know what to do - I am totally stressed out and cannot afford therapy. He is not really eligible for any living programs and so I will have to keep him with me probably until the day I die - which is fine, because I dearly love him, but I am so tired and worn out I am afraid I am going to have a stroke myself! He had to move back home with me 20 years ago because he committed a crime and I finally got him through a program and back home. He did not know he was committing a crime, but now understands it was wrong. I cannot talk to anybody about it and have no family and all my pastors are too busy to bother. Don't tell me to change churches. I just did that. I am involved with an adult mentally challenged class at church and it is an outlet for me as I love the class very much, but that is my ONLY diversion from home duties and continual worry about my son who could have a seizure or otherwise be unsafe if left alone. We have tried other living arrangements in the past that did not work out, and in some cases he was mistreated. He is not retarded, but has a low IQ on a lot of things and very smart about other things. I am VERY angry even though I know he can't help most of it - Please pray for ME. A LOT of people pray for HIM but nobody prays for the Mom and nobody ever offers to help and we have a low income too, but nobody even cares about that. Nobody from his church helps either. They just greet him at church and forget him the rest of the time - and so does his dad. I feel SO desperate and so frustrated and alone. I have had several crying spells since yesterday and can hardly keep the tears back, but I am exhausted from crying too.