i am in constant pain. my life is not good. whenever i call out to God, more bad things happen. i have lost my job because of gossip and lies. my body is in constant pain because of fibromyalgia. my husband is trying to graduate with his ph.d. and is, i feel, emotionally abusive due to his stress with his disertation, and he just told me that he won't have a paycheck over the summer. when i tell him that if he doesn't treat me better our marriage won't make it, he is cavalier and acts as if he doesn't care.
i cry out to God, and things only get worse. the devil just attacks me more. my life is a mess. i am so unhappy. i don't know what to do anymore. i can't function well. what little time i have left on my job contract is spent with me in fear and depression which isn't fair to my students.
i just don't know what to do anymore.
i know that God's word says, "Fear Not." I know it says to give no care about tomorrow. i'm just so unhappy. i cry a lot, and tomorrow has no hope.
i can't seem to get in a good place. i'm tired of being in pain. i'm tired of being unhappy. i'm tired of not feeling loved.
i'm just so tired.