About Me:

I feel like my life has been out of control for most of it pretty much. I have just had so much sadness. I am here to pray for my husband celestialcrown and support him through his illness. I have no clue what's going on with him, but he feels that he is dying... and his liver enzymes are abnormal. I'm worried so much, and its true if I lose him that the only person I will have is my younger sister who is struggling herself to get by with no running water, and hardly enough food. I just want my husband to be ok, not for me... but for him. He needs to learn what it means to live, and enjoy his life... We have both had seclusive pasts full of sorrow and I just wish we could live our lives. I feel betrayed by the church, so I do not feel like I have a religion at this time... but I have faith in a greater spirit. I consider myself to believe in a god without a religion... if that makes sense. Just to have faith is enough for me. I've been saved, and I have strong morals... but I just don't feel the church is doing right... Jesus taught us to be faithful at all times... and not just in a church... and I want to feel god everywhere I go through nature, and not be stuck inside a man made building. This is how I've always felt. I do not always think of religion or historical religion... I just believe in a greater spirit, and the higher power of love... without being dictated to. No I am not a pagan or a wiccan, allthough I used to be. I consider myself to be more connected to native american teachings...allthough I rarely think about it in a religious sense. It's more of a feeling I get. I hope you can understand me, and try to see that allthough I'm not christian that I try my best to have some sort of faith. But I cannot join something, because there are always flaws with any system... and remember christianity came AFTER jesus died. I'd rather simplify my beliefs and morals to what I feel is right based on logic, while still having faith in a higher power.