About Me:

...............MY WHOLE LIFE............... At age 16, I was raped,locked in a room for 3 days. I finally got away and ran as fast I could to the police station, I knew I ran there but can't recall the whole details how, and what time I got there all I knew is that I was safe...........at least I thoght. My father arived, and he hugged me and had tears in his eyes, But when I got home all of my siblings were there.My step sister, all she could say was buy her a........... how rude, I cried. My father never said a word to her and everyone in the house thought it was my fault, except for my best sister that I could ever have, beleived in me, I cried on her shoulder, she did too. This is only the begining. After that I rebeled out of anger, and not knowing what, why it happened to me. My father & step mother didn't have a clue what to do with me. I went to a girls home for several months, than I came here to VA. to live with my mother that I have never even knew. I got pregnant @ 17, was in trouble at school all the time, I graduadted though, but, still to this day I'm known as the troublemaker in school, and I'm not that anymore. I had my first child a month before my 18th birthday. His father only seen him once, when he was 5. He is now 15. I had another child, a girl, age 12, but lives with her grandparents, but father has custidy of her. She loves where she lives, and i thank her grandparents all the time for taking care of her, even though it breaks my heart that I missed a lot in her life. She was only 2 when she was taken away. I was at college, called home ,no answer. Called nextdoor neighbor they answered and my friend at the time told me he was moving everything out of the house. I went to my vehicle and it wouldn't start, finally a friend took me home. I got there, almost everything was gone, even my baby girls pictures along with her. Called the grandparent wanting to know where she was, they told me they didn't know. I fell to my knees and balled my eyes out, why, why again, going wrong in my life. Come to find out grandfather helped son move with my daughter that day, they lied to me. A year or so later pregnant again, father left with another women, and she beared his child also. After my 3rd child was born father came back, had another child with him.........along with all the physical & verbal abuse. Was in ER a couple of time do to this man. A friend cop, asked me what I was doing, and how long I was going to do this to myself. That summer I left, kept the kids with me, hated that they had to see and hear everything that happened, my oldest son, 15 yr. old still remembers the physical verbal, abuse and I feel so bad for him becuase I put him in that situation. Lost my 2 boys to there father, cause I had no one to help me, becuase they were bi-racial. In the yaer 2002 I met the most wonder man I could have ever prayed for, we are now married and have been for 3 yr.'s I have my 2 sons living with us now, but my daughter still remains with her grandparents, I don't mind, she's happy and even told me that she'll come home to me when she feels she need to. Anyway, the years have past, my husband is ill but he does all that he can and is able to do at age 36. Our marraige was wonderful, but the past year it seems as though it is just falling apart, no romance, sleep in different places in our home, not together. No sex life, don't do anything together at all any more, and I feel as thouch he doesn't love me.I devoted my life to school for 3 years in nursing On August 14th I took my state board, was confident, prayed, and had faith my father, jesus, would help me make it through and pass. Come to find out I didn't, I cried for 3 days this is one thing in my life that I have alwats wanted, ever since my senior year of high school, it broke my heart, and I even pulled away from my job at the nursung home do to this. And again I am asking my self way, why, why ........and I just feel lost now. Don't know what to do,or even what to do next. I'm very depressed of the whole situation. I pray, and I ask God to heal my broken heart,but I don't think it will until I fulfill my goal in life to be the nurse I always wanted to be, and for my marraige to be the way it use to be.I pray for my children everyday, I try to guide them in the right direction the best I know how. I think it is time for a little extra help, from anyone that is willing to open there heart and souls for me, and pray for my family, and myself...........Sincerly VICKI